Pushing Up Daisies
by mrsjaspercullen95
Summary: Bella and Edward are a normal high school couple in love, Bella dies in a car crash and finds out she can communicate with the living and have a somewhat human body. Will she show Edward or live in solitude. And if she does who knows what will happen. BXE
1. Prologue: Car accident

**This is my second twilight fan fiction, which doesn't really revolve around Edward and Bella or any of the Cullen's so I wanted to try something different and I got sudden inspiration whilst listening to my iPod and wanted to give it a shot. So if you read this, please review, but no flames just constructive criticism. And it does get better than this chapter, and longer.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I'm not Stephanie Meyer but...I can still love twilight**

Chapter 1: Bella POV

Edward stroked my hair lovingly and I looked up so my eyes met his. He bent down to touch his lips to mine; my heart went into frenzy as it always did at one simple touch. I put on hand on the back of his neck and the other knotted in his messy bronze hair. He slid his tongue along my bottom lip begging for entry which I happily complied to. We played battle for dominance as he pushed me gently to the wall behind me, his hand on my waist I pulled away gasping for air. We just stood there foreheads touching for what seemed like ages even though only a few seconds had passed.

"I have somewhere to take you Bella" said Edward.

"Where?" I hated not knowing something.

"You'll see" teased Edward and he entwined my fingers with his and pulled me out of the room.

We walked downstairs and debated over which car to use, in the end Edward one, as always so we were driving through Forks in his Volvo way above the limit. I closed my eyes since the blur of the trees were causing my head to spin. When I re-opened my eyes Edward was glancing at me with a concerned look.

"Are you okay love?" he asked.

"Yeah, just slow down a bit, please", he did so and took my hand in his

We talked about anything that came to mind and were on the subject of college when I saw yellow headlights hurtling towards us. Edward tore his hand from mine to grip the steering wheel. He swerved to the left to try and avoid the car, but he wasn't far enough. I shut my eyes waiting for the impact but I never felt it.

Blackness engulfed me, I couldn't breathe or smell or hear anything. I could feel my consciousness slipping away against my will. I tried to grab onto my fast disappearing life but I couldn't. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. Mine didn't. I just saw Edward. I tried to speak, to tell him I was alright. But I was trapped in a lifeless body. I couldn't do anything. Knowing my final thought was just seconds away I flicked through the best memories I had of Edward and thought I love you before my life was stolen from me.

**Please Review**

**Sarah ******


	2. Rosalie and Emmett

**Here's the second chapter, I was going to wait a couple of days, but I'm slowly becoming addicted, thanks to Zombie's Run This Town and Chocofreakazoid for reviewing, they made my day :D but I have gotten 24 hits and only two replies**

**So please review this time...enjoy**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own the twilight universe**

Chapter 2: Bella POV

So this was death. From first impressions I don't like it. My head is hurting like hell and my body's aching all over. I thought it was meant to be painless in death. I managed to open my eyes with effort and was blinded by the sudden brightness of my surroundings. I seemed to be in a hospital room, the walls were pure whit and the floor was a hard, white, and marble like surface. The bed I was laying in was soft and warm and about the only furniture in the small room. A glass of water was beside me and I realised how much I was thirsty. I poured the clear liquid down my throat but it only burned more. I couldn't see or hear anyone so I slumped back into the pillow and waited patiently trying to come up with a suitable solution to what was happening right now. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, trying to pretend I was laying in Edwards arms, contented. Of course my memory of Edward was cloudy, typical; the one thing I'd like to remember as though he was here in front of me is blocked.

When I re-opened my eyes again there were two people in front of me; they looked about my age, 17. On the right was a tall, slim girl with a body to die for. She had honey blonde hair that ran down to the middle of her back in large curls. Her eyes were a pool blue colour and looked at me with sympathy, the features of her face were sculptured in a way that any supermodel would kill to have. I envied her, she had beauty in such magnificence I had never encountered before and wished to have it myself. Shallow I know, but any sane girl would think that too. Next to her was a guy the immediate thing I noticed was how much muscle he had. It was overwhelming and I almost shuddered to imagine getting on the wrong side of him. He was taller than the woman, so about 6 5", I wasn't sure and had dark brown curly hair. His eyes were a soft brown colour but more like chocolate than mine were, and his face was just as beautiful as the woman's in his own way. So much that I didn't believe it was possible to possess the beauty a Greek god would have.

"She's awake Rose" said the guy in a deep, intimidating but still kind voice.

"I wasn't asleep, just resting" I said in a voice I didn't recognise as my own, much softer. This was surreal.

Before the girl I assumed was called Rose could speak the guy suddenly engulfed me in a tight hug, it hurt my already aching body. Wincing from the pain I struggled to say,

"Hurting here" I said in a strained voice, I don't think anyone heard, at least the guy didn't get off me.

"Emmett, get off her, she's says it hurts" ordered Rose sharply.

The man I now knew was called Emmett quickly stopped hugging me and muttered "Sorry".

I smiled warmly at him, "Don't worry, its fine"

"Hello, my name's Rosalie" said the insanely beautiful girl, "and this is Emmett" she said and indicated the guy who had his arm around her waist.

I smiled timidly and spoke "My name's Isabella Swan but I prefer Bella".

"Well Bella, do you know where you are right now?" asked Emmett kindly.

I shook my head, "A hospital?" I said guessing at my first impression of the room.

They laughed half-heartedly, "If this was a hospital we would all be alive" said Rosalie bitterly.

I knew I was dead, but this proof made all hopes of Edward vanish, it was an empty unwelcome feeling. At my reaction, which was nothing except my hand dropping from where it was resting on my lap. They looked at me, probably waiting for an expected reaction of shock and disbelief.

"I know I'm dead guys" I said without emotion.

"Well, technically you are but we can give you a choice" said Emmett.

My eyebrows knitted together in confusion, what other choice was there. There was no choice in death. Was there?

"You could kind of go back to your life, but not as a human if you get what I mean" explained Emmet, but not well.

"Umm Not really Emmett"

"Okay, it's simple Bella, if you want you can go back to your life but not in the exact body you had, you can change your appearance and easily go back to how you are now, you won't be able to eat food, you don't sleep and you'll be stuck at seventeen for eternity. And there's no going back, as in you won't ever leave earth" said Rosalie smiling.

"Will you guys come?" I asked, if I did go back I wouldn't on my own.

"You want us to?" said Emmett with pure surprise.

I nodded I had started to really like them. Rosalie looked thoughtful for a moment and spoke, "Well this job is getting tiresome, being stuck here, it would be nice to go back"

"I'll do anything you do angel" said Emmett lovingly and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Well okay then" said Rosalie happily and tightened her grip on Emmett's hand.

"Then I will, so have many..." I struggled to choose a word to call us, "What are we?"

"Angels? Yeah angels, that sounds cool" said Rosalie.

"Okay well have many, angels gone back?" I wondered; would we be the only ones.

"A few, most just want to forget their life, too much emotion hurting them to relive their old life. But it'll be obvious when you see one, we are meant to be 'beautiful'"

"Well lucky you, honestly anyone would be so envious of you two" I said.

"Have you seen yourself Bella?"

"Err no"

Rosalie quickly flitted out of the room and found a mirror about her height, "Get up and look at yourself"

I got up slowly from my bed, muscles suddenly not hurting I noticed I was wearing a long white dress to my ankles with no strap. The top had a black line along it and a black flower was imprinted over my torso, I loved it. **A/N Picture of dress on profile**

My hair was longer, to the middle of my back and was much wavier, but still the same dark chocolate colour and my eyes were the doe brown I had grown to love, but I wasn't Bella. The reflection staring back at me was of someone as beautiful as Rosalie, or as beautiful as I remember Edward being. My mouth dropped open, I hadn't even dreamed of being like this and here I was; perfect in my own way.

"See, you are pretty" said Emmett.

"She's more than pretty Emmett. You're stunning Bella" said Rosalie, "With a little make up on your eyes guys will be desperate for you when you go back".

"There's already one who was" I muttered, why couldn't Edward come back with me, he would have forgotten me and probably won't believe me if I said who I was.

"Who?" asked Rosalie curiously.

"You'll meet him soon enough" I answered; Rosalie accepted this knowing I didn't want to talk about it.

"So...." said Emmett loudly, I rolled my eyes.

"Ready to go back guys?" he carried on saying excitedly.

"Sure, so how does it work?" I asked.

Rosalie thought for a moment, probably digging through her mind for the right memory. "I remember, we have to imagine where one of us died as though we were all there and we have to touch palms for it to works with the three of us. And we should be somewhere near your dead body, but out of sight"

"So Bella, since you're the most recent to die it should be you, I've been here for 50 years and Rose has been here for 68" said Emmett, still as happy as ever.

I closed my eyes; do I really want to do this? What if he hates me? Edward is the only one I'll do this for, I thought.

**Thanks for reading but please press that little button down there that says review**

**Sarah**


	3. Edwards POV

**Thank you to Elliptical for reviewing my last chapter, it really made me happy. I know I got a lot of story alerts and even one favourite author :D but how can I make this fanfic even better without help from my readers. And if anyone has any ideas I would definitely consider it and give them full credit obviously, because I'm not sure how this will pan out. But enough of my rambling Chapter Three.**

**Oh and Disclaimer: Everything owned by the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.**

Chapter 3: Edward POV

"When will he wake up?" I heard Esme ask worriedly every five minutes. I wanted to show her, show her I could hear that I knew she was there with me. Or to speak to let her know I was alright, or even to move my fingers just to let her worry disappear a little. Esme should never be like this. But I was trapped, trapped in my unmoving body, just wanting to be with the ones I loved. Esme and, it hurt to think her name, was my love okay or was she like me. I couldn't even think the unimaginable, was my Bella okay. Something stirred within me every time Bella entered my mind. I just felt closer to being able to move once more.

"Excuse me Miss" said an unknown voice of a middle aged sounding woman.

"What?" I heard Esme speak.

"I need to check on him, see if we can get some idea to when he'll awake from the coma" the unknown voice said.

"Look just tell me, Will Edward be okay?" said Esme desperately.

"The doctor thinks he will" I heard Esme sigh, but not out of relief, just from a little news.

I still hadn't heard anything about Bella and I couldn't wait longer, it was like Esme was with me except worse, much worse. With some unknown force I managed to pull my eyelids open to see the sight of Esme beside me, shadows under her caramel eyes from sleepless nights but as she saw me come from my coma she pulled me into a hug muttering to herself along the lines of I was so worried, I thought I'd lost you.

Once I was able to breathe freely and it was just me and Esme alone, I spoke.

"Esme?" I asked cautiously, surely she would have mentioned Bella by now.

"Yes Edward?"

"Is Bella okay?" I asked, her eyes snapped up to meet mine; they were filled with sorrow and grief. The pace of my breathing began to quicken.

"She's..." Esme choked on the word.

"She's...g-gone Edward" and as she spoke at a minute pitch a single tear rolled down her pale cheeks. I was stunned; surely she meant something else, anything.

"Gone as in, left the hospital before me?" I asked dreading the very answer I knew deep down was true.

"She never came to the hospital Edward"

"Wow, I thought she would have it worse than me, but no injuries. That's just wow..." I trailed off.

"Edward, she did have it worse than you"

"But what's worse than a coma?"

"You know what I'm trying to tell you"

"She's dead isn't she" I said my eyes staring blankly away from Esme.

"Yes she is...I'm sorry Edward" said Esme softly and burst into tears.

One singular tear fell from my eye which rolled down my cheek and staining my face, it was followed by countless more. Isabella, no Bella Marie Swan, the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on, the one true love of my life was no longer on earth, no longer breathing. I couldn't hold her tiny hand in mine again, or kiss her velvet skin, or comfort her when she was sad, or tell her I loved her. Not even one last time.

For the next week I was a shell, just my outer body. My heart had shattered, unable to mend, and I refused to speak to anyone all I did was eat, and that was rarely. Everyone was worried, but nothing like this had ever happened to them. It was unimaginable the amount of torture I was living through. My soul being ripped apart at the thought of her. Me being stuck in life whilst she wasn't, I needed my love I was nothing without her.

I left the hospital a couple of weeks later, one ankle broken and my right arm broken and just about every part of my body sore from the accident. All I remember was Bella's funeral. I wore all black; obviously, I saw her body placed in the coffin, unmoving there really was no hope. He skin was chalky white and her eyelids were over her eyes, I would never see those doe eyes filled with emotion again. She was beautiful even in death, but she didn't look at peace. I bent down and kissed her forehead one last time before the lid was put on top of the coffin and it was buried in the ground in the small church my family had been buried for generations. Not many people were there, I wanted it to be quiet, Charlie and Renee were and so was Esme apart from me that was it. That was all we wanted.

I needed to be alone, I didn't want the hugs that were meant to comfort me, or the looks of sympathy for me. It just made everyone worse, if that was even possible. I motioned to Esme that I wanted to go back home, I knew Renee and Charlie wanted us to leave as well. Once home I went as quickly as my broken body would allow to my piano room, Esme understood I needed privacy, even though a word hadn't left my lips since I admitted Bella's death in the hospital. I sat down at the black grand piano stool, but away from where Bella had been countless times, enjoying listening to the flow of the music. This was painful, not physically but again top my soul and heart, this piano brought too many memories, but I just needed to get one thing out of my system.

My fingers pressed down on the ivory keys and I played the complicated but calming rhythm of the lullaby I had composed when I first saw Bella walk into the Forks cafeteria laden with books and a nervous expression covering her face. I sat and played for hours, completely lost in time, not caring the sun had risen since the funeral was at twilight, Bella's favourite time of the day.

When I finished I looked out of the window and beyond the rain that was falling fast down the window and outside I saw it was only about ten but I went to sleep all the same. Maybe this was a dream and I would wake up to the sound of Bella's cheerful laugh and her flowery scent intoxicating me. But I knew that could never happen, only in a dream.

**I thought that chapter was pretty sad but it was necessary so review...please**

**Sarah**


	4. Back To Life

**Sorry I just noticed that last chapter I didn't mention AnaBelle Cullen for reviewing, but thank you and also to marinelove, the fact that you cried made me glad that I had shown Edwards emotions reasonably well and I'm glad you like it, and I know it hasn't yet been a day since my previous update, but I'd much rather write this than homework so....more updates XD**

**Disclaimer: as much as I'd like to I don't own Twilight**

Chapter 4: Bella POV

I don't know what happened next but I was standing in a dense forest which seemed familiar. Rosalie and Emmett were standing beside me looking anxiously around us.

"Okay, so where do we go from here?" I asked.

"Don't ask us Bella, you're the one who lived here" said Emmett indignantly.

"Fine, I reckon we should get some sort of home, for appearances sake".

"That would work" said Rosalie, "But we don't have money right now"

"We won't need it" I said, "There's a large empty cottage somewhere round here, hardly anyone knows it's there"

"Great" said Emmett a little too enthusiastically and he bounded off into the forest ahead. Rosalie looked at me in disbelief, "Is that the right way?"

I shook my head and tried not to laugh, "Is he usually like this?"

"All the time" said Rosalie and we both smirked.

"Emmett darling" called Rosalie; it was a few moments before we heard Emmett's booming voice reply.

"Yes?"

"Wrong way dear" and Emmett came running back with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Lead the way Bells" he said cheerfully.

I headed in the direction I thought the cottage was, I couldn't be sure since I had no idea where we were at the moment, but my instinct was right. Through the tress I managed to make out a two story cottage with dirty white walls and ivy growing uncontrollably up the front. The windows were boarded up and the door was hanging off one hinge, it was the perfect size for the three of us and I knew that after a bit of work it would look amazing.

Emmett got over enthusiastic...again and ran through the door smashing it completely, I guess we got more strength and speed as well, I thought.

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders and swiftly followed Emmett inside. I went in slowly not knowing what to expect. The first room was what was meant to be a living room and it was completely bare with the paint peeling off the walls and no furniture at all, this was the condition of all the rooms and I knew we had a lot of work to make it habitable; at least we don't sleep anymore.

The week flew quickly by, we had made the cottage nice and had gotten furniture, Emmett wouldn't tell us where from though. And it was on Sunday evening before we started school the next day when I found myself dreading human company again. To get my mind off seeing Edward again, not that anything would happen I decided to watch SpongeBob Square pants with Emmett, which Rosalie didn't approve of obviously. Rosalie suddenly decided to grab me from the sofa and pull me into her bathroom with walls that were lined with mirrors and beauty products.

"What Rosalie?" I asked wearily.

"I need to make the first impression of you to be even better" she said.

"I take it I get no say in this?"

"Nope" she said brightly whilst twisting my hair in different ways to decide on a hairstyle, thought not.

I sat on her black swivel chair patiently whilst Rosalie put black eyeliner on me, mascara and a little blusher; she then pulled my hair back so it was half up half down and pulled some out so it looked messier, in a good way. I have to admit, I was impressed but I didn't like the fact that the reason behind it was of course Edward. Not that anything would happen anyway, I refused to let anything happen between him and me, it would only hurt him further.

We only had an hour before school started so I changed into a more suitable outfit for the day, I chose a pair of light grey skinny jeans, a plain white top and a dark blue cashmere polo neck jumper, I finished the outfit with dark blue ballet flats and a silver necklace of a heart with diamonds. Rose was ready before me wearing dark blue jeans with red heels and a red v neck top with sleeves to her elbows and a necklace with an angel. Emmett didn't care about appearances so he wore grey tracksuit bottoms and a black hoodie.

We decided to just run to school and say we walked. It took about five minutes and we slowed down to walk at a human pace to the school gates. In the car park crowds of students were milling around and chatting, until they saw us. It was immediately silent and they all were staring at us. Not what I wanted. Rosalie took it all in and walked with her head high enjoying the attention. Emmett followed like a lovesick puppy, which in a way he was. I followed after looking straight at the ground.

**I know that was a pretty short and boring chapter but it was just a filler chapter and the story will get more interesting soon.**

**Please Review,**

**Sarah**


	5. First Sight

**Okay and here's another chapter. I enjoyed writing this one and it's in Edwards POV again, but I don't think as sad. I got more reviews last chapter...Yay, so thanks to Elliptical, AnaBelle Cullen, Smily Kylee and -TeAm EdWaRd32-**

**Disclaimer: I don't live in America, I'm only a teenager and I don't own the twilight series so how can I be Stephanie Meyer.**

Chapter 5: Edward POV

What point was there in life now? Not that I'm becoming an emo or anything, but for me there is no point. Esme is getting even more worried, I barely speak to her and I guess I should have gotten over Bella by now. But I can't, it's impossible to forget the love of your life. But I'll try and get on with my life. The first day of school after the accident was hell, rumours were flying everywhere, and one was that I had purposefully crashed in a suicide attempt for me and Bella. I would never do anything like that to my precious love. But it's all died down now, I just keep to myself and they leave you alone. I like it that way.

On Monday I couldn't escape the gossip for once. Three new students were joining the school in my year today, they were all adopted and apparently lived out of town but no one knew where, not that mattered anyway. I decided that instead of waiting in the car park to catch a first glimpse of the new kids to just go straight to class and revise for exams coming up, I'd get peace at least. The morning went slower than usual, it always did since I could never pay attention anymore and I always thought of Bella. But no one could stop talking about them. Them being the two girls and one guy that had joined. I had been told that they were beyond beautiful like Greek gods and that they're names were Emmett, Rosalie and...Isabella. What kind of torture was this, it had only been two weeks and already someone enters my life to remind me of her. I can't talk to them, I'll probably go to hell anyway, but it doesn't need to start now.

I was nearly falling asleep at the end of chemistry when the bell rang signalling the beginning of lunch and springing me out of unconsciousness. I gathered my books slowly and dumped them into my bag. I slung it over one shoulder pushed my chair under the table. People were rushing to the cafeteria, more so than normal not hard to guess why so I lingered for a while around my locker wanting to be alone and to take gratitude of that fact. But soon it became too long to be normal to linger in the corridors, and my stomach was betraying me. I headed slowly towards the cafeteria where I bought a little food.

My table was empty, as usual, everyone avoided me now and I was glad of it. I sat in my seat and began absentmindedly eating my food. I noticed that the new people hadn't arrived yet and for that I was glad, the longer I could put off seeing them the better. I was in the process of detangling the headphones for my iPod when the loud chatter of students at lunch suddenly vanished. Unwillingly I glanced up from the table to the doorway where the three new students were standing. One was at the front, she had long golden blonde hair to her waist and light blue eyes and looked like she was about 5 8" and her body was very slim with a little curves, she was obviously pretty but nothing compared to Bella. Just behind her was a guy who looked around my age, he had his hand placed on the back of the blonde girl, he was about 6 foot and was very muscled, his hair was a very dark brown, almost black and was slightly curly. His light brown eyes shone with anticipation. Then I saw her, from descriptions I had no choice but to listen to this was Isabella. I hated her, a demon come to haunt the memory of my love. I took in her appearance quickly and noticed she had slightly darker hair than Bella, and it flowed down to the middle of her back, and it was also a little wavier than Bella's had ever been. Her eyes were a very familiar doe brown and my heart broke even more at the sight. I couldn't look any more; she was too similar to Bella. But since she was looking my way with an unknown mix of emotions in her deep eyes I sent her a look of pure hate, only a mere token of my pain she should know I wanted nothing to do with her from the very beginning.

They soon walked past me and there scent overwhelmed me, it was different like nothing I had ever encountered before and although intoxicatingly beautiful, it was inhuman. My eyes couldn't help but watch their backs as they chose a table the other side of the cafeteria than mine, but Isabella turned around and this time I could understand the emotion her eyes portrayed, confusion and hurt. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but this girl was an exception, I don't think I could live through uttering a single word to her. My heart was already in the process of killing me slowly, I didn't need the pain to be magnified. I'm sure someone will make the connection to her and me hating her sometime soon and she would be put out of her misery. It was a perfectly understandable reason to not talk to her.

I only had one more lesson left in the school day and I could get home and find comfort in the confines of my room. I looked at my watch and noticed that I had five minutes before the bell rang and not wanting to be caught in the sudden rush I left the cafeteria making sure I used the door opposite from where the new students were sitting. After one glance, the blonde and the guy, I think they're names were Rosalie and Emmett were chatting animatedly and Isabella was sitting quiet and reserved away from them, obviously brooding on the first impression of me I had given her. I smirked, hopefully she'll get the picture soon, and I didn't want to hurt her more than I had to.

**Read and Review**

**Sarah**


	6. No Idea What to Call The Chapter

**I got a few more reviews last chapter so I want to thank Elliptical again, and Head-In-The-Clouds10, bellaandedwardforever02 and Smily Kylee again for reviewing. But still only sixteen reviews compared to 532 hits but here is Chapter 6 back in Bella's POV and I should update later tonight if I get time.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Twilight Saga but I wish did.**

Chapter 6: Bella POV

Get me out of this hell, I thought bitterly, although maybe hell wasn't the right word to use since I was close enough getting there. But I had good reason to, neither Emmett nor Rosalie were in French with me and I already had boys practically drooling over me. Not that boys didn't somehow find me attractive before, but it shows how they never really liked me. Everyone seems to have gotten over the overly clumsy Bella Swan. Well I don't know about Edward I haven't seen him yet. But I wasn't sure if I was looking forward to it or not but one thing was certain, I had a feeling seeing him won't go well. I began doodling absentmindedly on the corner of my page, I know I should be paying attention but after all I did have eternity to learn French unlike everyone else in this tiny classroom.

I still couldn't get over how much my life had changed within the past week. I mean I died, came back to life and am dreading seeing the one person I love with my now un-beating heart. I haven't spoken to anyone since school started besides Rosalie and Emmett except for Mike Newton who I still have a vehement dislike for. Within the remaining 40 minutes of the lesson I drifted in and out of day dreaming when I was taken from my reverie of imagining the future by the obtrusive bell.

I yawned out of habit even though I wasn't tired and slowly gathered my books together. I had to speak to the teacher at the end of class to explain the subjects at my previous school, he was surprised when I answered by saying I had covered most of the stuff this class had. I met Rosalie and Emmett beside my locker and we headed our way to the cafeteria, of course we were stopped by countless students, mainly guys. What was strange was that I already knew them and had to act as though I had never seen them before in my life. We stopped outside the doors to the cafeteria and I breathed deeply in, beyond the doors was Edward probably waiting at our no, his table. Rosalie stood forward further and I shrank back slightly, I didn't like the attention anyway but this would be more than ever. Emmett gave me a brief one armed hug before Rosalie pushed open the doors and the loud chatter we had heard just a second ago hushed immediately. I knew people's eyes were locked on us and it was a couple of moments before I could drag my eyes from the ground to scan the room. I liked the sudden sense of familiarity I got but only because it brought back some amazing memories with Edward, but also sadness, I couldn't be with him in my current state. It wasn't fair on him, or me but more so him.

I knew Edward was looking straight at me, I always felt some kind of butterflies in my stomach when he did whether I could see or not. And I still got them now. I turned my head and I saw the reddish bronze hair that wasn't ginger that sent waves of lust through me. I wanted to run over there and brush my fingers through his already messy hair. But I could no longer I was Isabella not Bella. And Edward wasn't mine. His hair had lost its life though I couldn't easily describe it but it was as though no one longer cared for appearance. My eyes quickly raked over his body. He was sitting with his elbow on the table resting his head on his hand and he looked not only tired but depressed. His clothes weren't cared for, he was wearing a black shirt that was crumpled and didn't fit his body well at all, and he was wearing black jeans that were crumpled as well. His skin was pale like mine now was but in a sickly way, as though he hadn't seen sun for ages, and his face was lifeless. His eyes looked dead and sunken and had lost the emerald glimmer that I had always loved. And large purple shadows lingered under his eyes showing many sleepless nights. He was a complete mess and I knew only Bella being back would sort that out. But I couldn't help and it was my fault he had become like that. If I hadn't died he would be happy and full of life. And now he was the complete opposite. I still loved him, but it hurt to look at him like that with absolutely no emotion or life, well I say no emotion; he had grief and that was it.

His eyes suddenly connected with mine and I was completely unprepared for what followed. His stare became a look filled with anger and hate, and the phrase if looks could kill, and even I, an immortal angel shuddered slightly at the sight. Not from fear; but purely because that look of complete loathing and hatred, an imprint of evil was meant for me. Edward was never like this before; he welcomed new people like old friends, and would gladly befriend anyone as long as they hadn't or wouldn't harm me. But now I was gone and in Edward's mind never to come back of course he would be hostile with anyone. I know if it was me in his place and I had lost him I would only wish to have no social contact with any person. Suddenly the thought of Esme, Edward's mother entered my mind, she must be in complete distress her only son and family in this much pain, because I could completely understand how tortured Edward must be right now.

**Can you guys do me a massive favour?**

**Press the green review button down there and type...please**

**Sarah**


	7. Bella POV

**And another chapter XD I want to thank everyone for reviewing they really made me smile. And the only reason I'm not naming everyone this time is because I have loads of homework to get done within the hour without checking everyone's names, it take a while. SO I hope you like this update and please review**

**Disclaimer: Not Stephanie Meyer...**

Chapter 7: Bella POV

I looked away from Edward and noticed that Rosalie and Emmett had already started to head towards a free table far away from Edward. The students near me looked very confused because of my recent moment of no regard for anything going on around me, and looking at Edward the whole time. But no one else's thoughts bothered me. I sat down next to Emmett who was kissing Rosalie lightly on the cheek and I began thinking over every possible meaning for Edward to look at me like he did. Of course I came u with no reasonable idea, every new one journeying further and further from possibility and reality. But what bothered me was that it was only me he seemed to hate, to Rosalie and Emmett he gave no acknowledgment, apart from one short glance, and he didn't seem to act this way to anyone else, just me. I looked briefly at him again and thankfully he wasn't looking at me so I wasn't caught in the act of looking at the most beautiful person I had encountered in both lives. He was just there though, and that bothered me. He was completely cut off from any signs of life and was eating the little food he had slowly and it looked as though he didn't have a clue as to what was entering his mouth. No one else in the school even seemed to notice him, as though he was completely invisible. This was different. Before I died every possibility regardless of whether Edward's hand was clearly in mine or if he had his arm slipped around my small waist girls would come to him like flocks of birds giving any desperate shot of him being with them than me. This no longer happened; it was truly as though he was invisible. Suddenly he looked at his watch, the first sign that showed he was actually in the school mind wise and got quickly up. He walked over to the door furthest from me which was strange he always used the one behind me. And as he had his hand on the silver metal handle he sent on last look of hate my way, he walked out without another backwards glance. But as he saw my eyes again there was one flash of regret? I wasn't sure but I guess it was probably a disillusion. He had no pity for me at all, and no reason to. I sighed loudly which broke Emmett and Rosalie out of the conversation that I was included within for the first few sentences.

"You okay Bella?" asked Emmett sincerely.

"Yeah I'm fine, I'll just go to my next class early I think" I said quietly knowing full well that Emmett and Rosalie didn't believe the 'I'm fine' part but didn't press it further and probably guessing the cause themselves, just not to the extent it really was.

I slung my bag over my right shoulder and walked out of the cafeteria, completely ignoring the looks I was getting from almost every male teenager, well apart from Edward obviously. I tried not to think of the thoughts going on in their minds, with Edward I didn't care; it was obvious that then I wasn't available and wouldn't leave Edward. And now, there was no one to stop them from trying to hit on me. I reckon school would be a _lot _harder to cope with this time round. I remembered from my timetable I had biology next and took no hurry in reaching the classroom, knowing full well who would be leaning casually on the wall outside the door. I even decided to go a longer route than necessary so that the door would be open and I could avoid a moment of just me and Edward in a corridor with no one else to distract me. Thankfully the bell rang after that thought so I quickened the pace I was walking at to make sure I did get to class on time.

As I expected the biology classroom was now open and I could hear that there were a few students seated by now. I entered the room not once taking my gaze from where Mr Banner was sat at his desk scrolling through some website. He heard my footsteps and looked at me through the ugly, thick glasses he always chose to wear for some unknown reason.

"And what is your name?" he inquired.

"Isabella McCarty" I answered politely, I had decided to act as Emmett's sister and Rosalie was taken in by our 'mother' a few years ago and just stayed living with us despite being legally able to purchase a house of her own.

"Oh well Isabella, I hope you like the school so far and the only spare seat is next to Mr Mason over there" he said and I pretended to follow where his arm was pointed even though I knew perfectly well who Mr Mason was and where he was sat since it was next to where I used to sit. I tried to not look at the unavoidable presence of that was Edward as I shoved my belongings on the space he had cleared for me. I let my hair fall like a curtain over the right side of my face so I couldn't see Edward who was most likely looking at me with a fervent dislike. Unfortunately I could still smell the scent of him that I used to be able to inhale happily through the rose shampoo I always used. To distract me I traced my finger over the grooves in the wooden science table at a futile attempt to forget the god beside me. I saw the single heart I had drawn not long before my death where I had written I love Edward in my best possible attempt at script writing and Edward had writing in his flowing hand I love Bella. Tears began to flow uncontrollably from my eyes at the sight, knowing that nothing like that could ever happen again even thought my heart so badly yearned for it. Stupidly I raised my head and my hair with it, and Edward noticed the pool of tears that had formed over the unforgettable heart we had drawn together so many weeks back.

I could see out of the corner of my eye his sudden discomfort, he had always hated seeing me cry and I guess this triggered something in him. But he said nothing, I didn't expect him to, but he did lean even further away from me, if that were even possible.

When I heard the bell ring I almost sighed in relief that had been the worst hour ever. Thankfully the work we had been assigned to complete within the lesson didn't include anyone else's cooperation. But it was with much dampened spirits that I left the classroom to meet Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie was standing with her back against my locker trying to avoid touching the crowd of boys gathered around her body. Emmett hadn't shown up and I knew that the moment he did Rosalie would be saved, but I wouldn't. Rosalie saw me and her posture relaxed and she waved to me and called out loudly,

"Hey Bella, over here" causing everyone's heads to turn in my direction.

"Hey Rose" I muttered.

"Emmett still hasn't turned up; he's probably showing off in front of everyone, it would be predictable of him"

"Okay, well do you mind if I head off home now, instead of waiting?" I asked hopefully, I really didn't want company right now.

"Please Bells, you're the only reason they have left" Rosalie said, no pleaded.

I loved Rose too much to leave in her in that kind of situation so I agreed; well I always was a pushover and I still am now. Turns out Rosalie was right about Emmett, he had been showing off his amazing basketball skills as he put it to the rest of his gym class. Well this was Emmett we were talking about. What really annoyed me was that no matter how much I wanted to be happy, I couldn't bring myself to feel that one singular emotion, all I got was sadness, pain and grief. A lovely mix don't you think. Emmett and Rosalie knew something was up with me, so of course they pestered me about it the moment we arrived at home.

I just wanted peace throughout the evening so I went into my room, which we had painted a deep red with a rich gold stripe running around the room in the middle and everything else was coloured accordingly. I walked over to my bookcase and ran my fingers over the many titles until I found Pride and Prejudice. I sat the soft red armchair in the corner of my room and curled up with a blanket wrapped tightly around my body. I opened the book and read on for must have been hours, but I was so immersed in the story that I had no idea afternoon had turned to twilight and twilight into night. I had just read the part where Mr Darcy had given Elizabeth the letter explaining his actions for Jane and Mr Wickham when Rose entered my room and went over to my bed. She sat on the edge and watched me expectantly. I peered over the edge of my book and after noticing I would have to talk put it down.

"Yes Rosalie?"

"Well, I know something's up Bella, and Emmett isn't that stupid to not notice anything either. But I thought you might be more easily persuaded to spill without Emmett hearing" she said caringly.

"It's not Emmett that's the reason I don't want to confess my thoughts Rose, it's just I'm so confused myself and I just need time to sort it out within my mind before anything I say will make remote sense"

We were silent for a moment and she spoke again, "Its Edward isn't it?"

"Well, yes...I mean what else in this world will bother me to this extent"

We just sat in peaceful silence thinking until Rose suddenly spoke up, "You have to talk to him Bella, if you don't it'll just get worse and worse and harder to sort out"

I knew she was right, but Edward and I weren't meant to be. What if this was just an illusion of the heart I had gotten myself into and that I had never truly loved Edward in the first place?

**Please Review**

**Sarah**


	8. Convo with Edward

**Another sad chapter, I don't think they'll get happy for a while yet but who knows, I'll write what comes into mind XD thank you for all the reviews again my internet is messed up and won't let me check my emails to write all the names correctly :D and keep on reviewing, please**

**Disclaimer: I'm asking for the twilight universe for my birthday coming up, but I don't think I'll get it :D**

Chapter 8: Bella POV

I shut my eyes and tried to completely forget the real world, but since I can't sleep I was always thinking of Edward. The next morning I was in a bit of a better mood. After Rosalie had tried to persuade me once again, this time successfully I decided to talk to Edward but not as the Bella he knew, but as the girl I am to everyone else.

I decided to wear a dark blue knitwear dress that hugged my figure and went to my knees in a pencil like skirt; I put on black tights so people didn't see how pale I really was and pulled on dark blue heels. To finish the outfit I put a wide tan belt around my waist and pulled back the front of my hair on the right with a dark blue clip, I liked how I looked for once and set off to school in okay spirits.

I saw in the car park a silver Volvo almost exactly the same as Edward's previous one but this must be new since the accident. I saw him step out of the front and scan his eyes across the parking lot. Rosalie saw what I was looking at and pushed my back slightly but with enough force to move me forward a couple of inches. "Now's your chance" she whispered in my ear.

I decided now wouldn't be worse than any other time so I braced myself for a conversation which would probably end up turning into a full scale argument. I put my feet forward concentrating on not tripping and making a fool of myself. Edward hadn't noticed I was heading his way and if he did he would most likely disappear. I took a deep breath in even though I didn't need it and spoke to the back of Edward.

"Hi, my names Isabella McCarty, and I was wondering could you show me the way to Maths" I said as the first thing that came to mind.

Edward turned round, meaning his scent almost knocked me out for a second, it was so...desirable. His eyes still held that deathly gaze for me as he spoke in a harsh tone that I had never heard him speak before "Why don't you look at the map the front office gives all new people" he spoke so coldly, that I was honestly scared for a moment.

"I don't want to look like I'm new?" I said as anything to start a conversation when all I really wanted to do was run away and hide in shame; I looked behind me at Rosalie who was smiling in encouragement. I think my face made her realise it was going rapidly downhill.

"Well, there's no way people won't notice your new, you're talking to me which of course I really am not wanting right now" said Edward in that same voice that sent chills down my spine.

"What is wrong with you?" I shouted in anger showing some unknown courage brought to the surface, "I came to you wanting to make a friend of someone who doesn't follow me around like a puppy, and who doesn't make snide remarks every time I'm within hearing distance designed to hurt me because they're jealous" I really was angry at him for acting this way, it wasn't Edward.

He looked taken aback for a moment but got over it quickly and replied at the same noise level and with just as much anger, if not more. "Surely, it was obvious to you that I wanted nothing to do with anyone, and you walk up here assuming that I'll be best buddies with you just because you want it to be like that"

I narrowed my eyes, "Obvious you didn't want anything to do with anyone? It was only me you gave daggers at, only me you purposefully avoided and only me that you hate so much, you aren't like this with Rosalie or Emmett, you just don't acknowledge anyone but it's me you decide to detest so much it hurts me without having ever spoken a word to you" well the last part wasn't completely true but still.

"Yes I only hate you" he said this time much quieter so only I would be able to hear but with even more malice. He walked away without another word and before I could get another word in, this time the breeze he caused to hit me cut me like a thousand knives intent on one ending, for me to die of a broken heart, shame I couldn't die again. Then the pain would stop. But I knew it would continue to go on never ending, just because of the previous five words he spoke to me, I knew I had no chance of getting Edward back and that now I have damned myself to an eternity of loneliness, isn't life just amazing?

I stood there unmoving, not breathing, not noticing anything except the immeasurable pain I was in. I vaguely noticed Rosalie run up to me, Emmett following trying to snap me out of the state I was in. Rosalie was speaking fast, saying what I think was, "It doesn't matter Bella, and he'll come around" but I didn't care, I couldn't do anything about it anyway, and Rose doesn't know what he said. Suddenly I remembered last night, that maybe it wasn't love and that he isn't the one I'm meant to spend my life with. I was wrong, only that person could ever cause me this much torture.

Somehow I managed to act as though I really was human and started breathing heavily, and tears flowed down my cheeks leaving a salty taste on my lips, the tears helped as little but a very little. I started walking away from the school back home, I knew Rosalie and Emmett would follow as soon as they could, I was glad, for once I really needed and wanted the comfort now I was in a state in which to actually appreciate it.

I was sitting on the sofa with the TV on the first channel it came, unaware of what was actually on the screen when Emmett came bursting through the door muttering audible profanities. Rosalie came in as well and instead of walking around the room shooting me worried glances every two seconds like Emmett she pulled me into a comforting hug. No one spoke for hours, I knew school would have ended by now but to be honest I didn't care; all I wanted was to forget the event with Edward. I tried, I really did but there wasn't away for my mind to wander. Finally Rose let go of me and I turned my head to look at her, her eyes were filled with worry and care, I smiled at her of course it wasn't real and she knew but it was a little better. At some point Emmett had sat next to me and immediately brought his arm around my waist and hugged me like a big brother would. I rested my head on his shoulder and cried once more. He didn't seem to mind I was ruining his top and I was grateful for that. When i stopped crying and was able to speak properly I managed to get a few words out of my mouth.

"He said he only hated me" it was only in monotone, but it was an explanation that I'm sure Emmett and Rosalie wanted to hear, "But why? I haven't said anything to him since starting at school again"

"Bella, it hasn't been two weeks since your death yet, I don't think he's ready to socialise and he won't be for a while" said Rosalie calmly, she as right, I knew it just wish it was wrong.

"But he could at least be civil to me, like he is to everyone else, it's only me he's like that with" I said sadly.

"Well you are similar to your human self" said Emmett as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was to anyone but me.

"Actually Emmett does have a point there Bells, you must remind Edward of you, think as if it was Edward in your position, if someone really similar to the person you loved that had just died, would you like them, I think I would hate them too" said Rosalie.

I knew it was right, everything the two of them had said, its only that I don't think I can cope long without being with Edward. Seeing him but not being able to be with him, not being able to just stare into those beautiful emerald green eyes or run my hands through the striking bronze hair that I loved so much.

"I need to tell him who I really am"

Their faces told it all, the shock I would even think something like that, confused as to why I would do something so drastic this early on and determination, probably to stop me, but I wasn't sure.

"Bella, think if you were in Edward's position and someone told you they were an angel back from the dead and really the one person you loved. Would you believe it?" Rosalie told me, true I hadn't thought of that.

"Well I wouldn't believe them but I would want to"

"But wanting isn't enough Bella, just wait a while, and if it does come to it Edward can meet you through me or Emmett"

"He'll avoid you after that, and me even more than usual if that's possible" I said.

"Bella, you two were meant to be, I can tell that and somehow fate will sort itself out and you will end up with Edward happy for eternity, I know it" said Rosalie forcefully as if daring me to disagree otherwise. I couldn't say anything so I nodded and started watching the TV again. It was just a load of Mock the Week episodes.

**A/N this was just the first show that came to mind**

The only problem with not sleeping was the fact that there was nothing to do, especially when you have a lot on your mind that sleep would be perfect for taking your mind off things. I do wish I could sleep. Instead I closed my eyes and tried to think of Charlie, I hadn't seen him since before my death I suppose I never would either.

**Please Review**

**Sarah**


	9. Three Figures

**Another chapter :D and thanks for the reviews I got, and I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, I had a minor writers block for a few hours, but it's all sorted out. And there's more Edward in this chapter. So read and enjoy.**

Chapter 9: Bella POV

When the sun started to shine through the window I started to think of school again. I would have to go, I couldn't miss another day. I just wouldn't talk to Edward or maybe he might feel remorse and at least apologise for what he did yesterday. I wore a white skirt to my knees that wasn't tight, just floated and a dark blue v-neck top with sleeves to just below my elbows which just dropped and didn't cling to me either and I wore the dark blue flats I had. I put on my iPod and I Giorni by Ludovico Einaudi came on. **A/N check this out on you tube I thought it was perfect for Bella's lullaby and much better than the film one :D**

It was so calming and I entered the school in a much better mood than throughout the night. People were staring again if not even more than they had on my first day. But this time I didn't mind, I just didn't care, they weren't a part of my life anyway. I saw Edward's Volvo was here but he was nowhere in sight. I tried to think of what Rosalie told me last night, that we were meant to be and we will get together eventually. I just hope so much that she was right.

The say flew by due to the nerves I had for lunch, I would see Edward now and I had no idea what would happen. I wouldn't go up and talk to him like I did yesterday, I know knew that wouldn't work. He was sitting at the usual table he sat at looking worse than I had ever seen him, including the first day after my death. Edward saw I was looking in his direction so I twisted my head suddenly to act like I was talking to Emmett. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that he continued to stare at me. If only I could blush I thought. He always liked that.

We sat our table which was unfortunately far from Edward's. I was o confused, I don't want to be near him, not in the same room, yet I want no I need to be close to him. This was doing my head in I wanted everything to be sorted out the way it should be. Rosalie and Emmett started talking as usual and I sat quiet in my seat for the hour, just thinking. I was lost in my own world when the bell shrilly rang and I jumped from the surprise, I had forgotten I was in school for the last ten minutes. Looking around the cafeteria I noticed most of the students had already headed to class, Edward was one of them. I wasn't looking forward to biology, but maybe Edward was in a better mood today, and maybe we would talk. I hoped so.

I walked as slowly as I could manage to biology and entered the classroom. As I expected Edward was sitting at our table. I walked up and sat down and got out my books. The teacher was slightly late for class so everyone was talking. I started doodling on my book out of boredom.

"Can I apologise for yesterday?" Edward asked me quietly, as though he was nervous.

"Yeah, sure. I guess I accept it" I said, every word hurt.

"Well, my name's Edward, I know who you are since you said yesterday" he seemed more uncomfortable at the casual reference to the previous day.

"I just want you to know that I'm not really like how I was when I last spoke to you, I'm just really...troubled right now if that's the word" his voice was soft, but it still had a harshness to it as an undertone, I could only notice it because of hearing him speak so much before. He still didn't like me.

"Okay, but I know you don't like me at all so why try? Why not just completely ignore me for the one lesson we share?" I needed to hear his response, that know he felt remorse would he still be truthful. I didn't want to look up at him but, I couldn't stop my eyes from moving to look into his.

I was lost in the green pools for a moment until he spoke again, "I may not like you at all, but that doesn't mean I can't be polite"

I rolled my eyes, typical. It was only so he didn't make himself look bad.

"Well, then don't be polite, I'd rather not converse with you at all unless needed say for an experiment in this class, than to talk with you just so you can keep up the good, polite, kind act" this time I was the one speaking coldly.

"Okay, well I'll just say this, I don't hate _you_ I don't know what you're like, but it's just that you force me to remember things that happened recently, therefore I hate what you do but not you" he said and I knew exactly which memories I forced him to relive in his mind, maybe I should have gone with another name, but at least he didn't hate me personally.

"Well, tell me now then, will you for one hour a day talk to me normally, or do we sit in silence unless forced?"

"I guess one hour is possible, but can I call you something else? Just so it's easier"

Yes, my mind was telling me, Edward could do whatever he wanted as long as he was happy. But what could he call me? Certainly not Bella, which would make things even worse.

"Okay, but I can't think what other name to use"

"Then why don't I just ever say your name?"

"That would work" I said and smiled, at least we were talking.

The teacher came in then and was out of breath showing that he had just run to get here. He began explaining the new topic we were starting; I knew it was something to do with chemical formulas, but to be honest my mind was too busy to concentrate in the slightest. Class ended all too soon for me to carry on enjoying the presence beside me. I said goodbye to Edward and left to meet Rosalie. Emmett was there this time, and I must have looked really bad yesterday because they immediately picked up on my good mood. No one said anything since the corridor wasn't exactly empty yet, but they had probably guessed why I was happier anyway. It wasn't that difficult.

We got home quickly and before I had had the chance to shrug my black coat off my shoulders Emmett was bombarding me with questions and assumptions.

"Wow Bella, you're so much happier today, Edward doesn't know who you are yet does he. No he mustn't otherwise he would be here now. Unless he left you, if he did I would pummel him into a pulp. But if he left you, you wouldn't be happy, I know, he wasn't acting evil to you like yesterday" and throughout all of that I tried to edge a word in but to no avail.

"Emmett stop let Bella have a chance to speak" said Rosalie above Emmett, he quietened immediately and turned to me with an eager expression on his face, begging for answers.

"Okay, well you've seen that I'm happier, which is true and it is down to Edward, but only because there is hope. Nothing really life changing happened, and he doesn't know that I'm Bella Emmett" I explained quickly, I expected them to be disappointed with my explanation but they weren't.

After a short conversation over my last lesson I started to watch kerrang due to lack of anything else to do. But the fact that Emmett was being unnecessarily loud and the fact that Rosalie was talking nonstop to either of us I decided I needed some space, just to hear myself think. I stood up and got my coat back on, the eyes of Emmett and Rosalie were following my every movement.

"I'm just going to go walk for a while, clear my head, I'll be back within a few hours probably" I said.

I saw Emmett's eyes dart quickly to Rosalie and back to me as he said, "Don't worry Bella, we have _plenty_ to be doing in your absence, take as long as you want"

Rosalie understood Emmett's meaning and said eagerly, "Bella that's a great idea, now that you're happier you don't need us with you as much, we'll be perfectly fine on our own"

I shuddered internally at the thought of what they were meaning; I didn't need to know when my best friend's were going to have sex.

"I left the cottage and once I was well away from my home I listened for the sound of a nearby road to head back to Forks. There was a road pretty near me on my right and sure enough after a minutes' walk I reached the hard tarmac of the road I died on, but further north. Thankfully I didn't have to pass the last place my heart beat and I decided to just go to Forks and in the surrounding woods. When I passed the very outskirts of Forks I caught a scent that was completely unknown to me. It was sweet, very sweet but in a good way, a blend of many different flowers all complimenting each other, and just about any attracting smell you could name. I preferred Edwards scent though.

I was confused; it was slightly human, but not natural. Kind of like mine Emmett's ad Rosalie, we weren't natural and we weren't humans. But it was different than the smell of an angel. Instead of my choice in path I headed away to the destination of the unknown scent. A beautiful white house with three storeys came into view and it was obviously inhabited. I called out to see if anyone was around. Almost immediately after I finished speaking three figures were standing before me.

**Please review**

**Sarah XD**


	10. Vampires

**And after two days the next chapter. Sorry it wasn't yesterday but I was kind of overloaded with homework, but I do try to update as frequently as possible. Thanks to bellaandedwardforever02, wildfiregirl04, smilykylee and berry with an i for reviewing.**

**Disclaimer: ...Not Stephanie Meyer, obviously**

Chapter 10: Bella POV

They were just as beautiful as Rosalie, Emmett and I due to the non living state we were in. But these people definitely weren't angels. But I couldn't defy the supernatural anymore so I would probably believe anything they said. One was standing slightly further forward than the other two, it seemed as though the others trusted him deeply. He was tall, and had light blonde hair swept back in a style not true to this century. His skin was even paler than me, in fact all of them were, but you could only notice the small difference with my eyesight. His eyes were a pale liquid gold colour, all of their eyes were. The girl standing behind the first man was very short, and had quite short black hair, spiked in different directions and standing next to her with their fingers entwined was a much taller man near my age like the girl who had honey blonde hair with tints of brown, it was longish for a guy and slightly waved. They were intimidating to a human I could tell that but I felt no fear.

The one who seemed to be the leader held out his hand to me and smiled warmly. "I'm Carlisle Cullen, and these are my adopted children Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock, we've recently moved to the area"

I shook his hand, it was the same temperature as mine so very cold and answered, "My name's, Isabella McCarty the two people I live with are back home, their names are Rosalie Hale and Emmett McCarty"

Alice suddenly spoke up, "You aren't human are you?"

"No, not really" I didn't know how much to tell these people.

"Neither are you" I stated bluntly.

"No, we are not, if you get the other two you live with you could all come inside our home and we can talk" said Carlisle welcomingly.

"Okay, I'll be ten minutes tops, err the others will be...busy" I said awkwardly.

I turned around and ran to the cottage. I could hear them at it when I was about ten meters away; I didn't want to walk in on it so I called out their names to be out here and dressed as soon as possible. I heard Emmett groan, but Rosalie was silent although I knew she was thinking the same thing. I did say I was going to be a few hours after all. Surprisingly it wasn't long before they managed to stand in front of me looking as though for the previous half hour they had been watching TV or something like that rather than anything else.

I quickly explained to them about Carlisle, Alice and Jasper and they readily agreed it would be good to know more people. They were in awe of the white house as I was and Carlisle as already standing outside the door waiting for us. We sat down on a large black leather sofa in a room with pure white walls and just about any home entertainment system you could name around us. I decided to speak first,

"This is Rosalie, and Emmett, Emmett and I only share the same surname for appearance really" I said.

"Well, welcome to our home, we don't have any objections in telling you what we are if you do us the favour too" said Carlisle.

"Okay, well I'm really Bella Swan, I died about a week ago near here and Rosalie and Emmett gave me the chance to come back as an angel, and they decided to as well, and we are stuck like this for eternity" that summed it up pretty well I thought.

"We are vampires, but we didn't have a choice obviously, and like you we are stuck in this state forever unless burnt" said Carlisle.

"Wow vampires, I was expecting something surprising, but not that" said Emmett.

We talked for what seemed like minutes but were really hours until we had to go and get ready for school which Jasper and Alice were starting at today. As I stood up to leave Alice came over and spoke to me quietly so that no one else would hear.

"Bella, you seem to be apprehensive in school later, can I help? Even though we have only been acquainted this evening, I saw that we'll be really good friends, and I hate to see you like this anyway" she said kindly.

"Well, I guess I am distressed, I promise to explain later" I whispered and smiled reassuringly at her.

We left the Cullen house and got back home quickly, I was ready within a couple of minutes, and wearing dark blue jeans, a grey scoop neck top and a black jacket. Rose was ready too and we were just waiting for Emmett who had forgotten where he had left his bag. After five minutes of watching Emmett run frantically round the house Rosalie rolled her eyes and went to their bedroom and coming back with the bag. Emmett took it gratefully and we left for school.

I hoped Edward would still be tolerable but even then it would upset me, being near him but not with him. Before I became too caught up in a train of thoughts Alice called out to me from her car which was a bright yellow Porsche; well that was Alice for you, loud, outgoing and bubbly I wish I could be as bold as her, maybe then I wouldn't be in so much turmoil right now.

I waved and sauntered over to her and Jasper. "Hey Alice, Jasper"

"Bella" said Jasper with a nod of his head, of course he wouldn't want to talk much, and the temptation of drinking any human here dry would be overwhelming for a vampire. I can't see how Alice will manage easily either.

"So do you like it here so far?" I asked.

"Well the people are keeping their distance but are seemingly very interested so I'd say the same as the other countless high schools we have been too" answered Jasper, I smirked.

"That accounts for us as well, just not the countless school part"

"I think it'll be great with you Rosalie and Emmett" said Alice happily. Jasper leant down and kissed her forehead lightly. They were so cute together. They started whispering to each other so I turned around not wanting to intrude; Emmett and Rosalie were much the same so I gave them their much needed privacy. I took the chance to observe the students again. Edward was here now, our eyes locked together and mine began watering. The emerald green orbs that I loved so much were still just as lifeless as before. I knew only I could help it. So for once I looked forward to biology, I needed to talk to him, to find out what ground we stood on together.

**I know that was short, and I have gotten a few reviews asking for chapters to be longer, and they will be, but I was stuck with what to write for this one :D**

**Please review**

**Sarah**


	11. Moving In

**Here's chapter 11. Sorry it was a few days, writing a longer chapter took a lot longer than expected since I was intending to leave it half way through this. So I have a question to ask, would you prefer me to write every day or every two days, or update less to write longer chapters?**

**Personally I would prefer the first option but it's up to the readers. So review at least to answer the question.**

**Disclaimer: Not Stephanie Meyer, don't own twilight ect.**

Chapter 11: Bella POV

The day went so slowly since I actually wanted to get to biology. I chatted to Alice throughout most of the day. She decided to plan a shopping trip for her Rosalie and me; I just let her get on with it. Lunch was as usual uneventful, and again as usual I didn't pay attention to anything around me, but who's to blame me? I left the cafeteria five minutes for the bell went, like Edward did, then maybe I would get the chance to speak to him longer. I was listening to Hearts Burst Into Fire by Bullet For My Valentine on my iPod when I suddenly felt Edward's presence beside me and sure enough he was there, close enough for me to take his hand in mine. I took out one of my headphones so I wouldn't shout and so I could hear anything he had to say clearly.

"Hi" I said quietly, too shy to really say much else at the moment.

"Hey" said Edward the voice velvet like voice I loved so much.

"So are you talking to me today? Or do you hate me again?" I asked straight out, I'd rather know now than later.

"I don't hate you and I will talk to you, I don't really have a choice, there's something about you that seems so familiar" I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes, of course there was something familiar about me, you were in love with the old me.

"I can't not speak to you" he said Edward in a very quiet voice so much that I only just caught it, I don't think he meant for me to hear that so I said nothing about that.

"Okay, well would you want to sit with me and my friends during lunch, you're so alone usually" I asked him, hopefully he would say yes.

"I don't know" he began uneasily, "You all seem so separated from everyone else as in like you can't fit in no matter what you do, whereas I could begin to talk to people again and I would easily be accepted, anyway lunch is a very how shall I put it, umm reflective time for me" he said.

I was disappointed, but it wasn't a downright no, well I'd get my way eventually at least I hope so anyway.

"Oh okay, never mind, but anytime you do there's always a seat open" I smiled at him to show I was sincere.

"Only because Emmett scares off everyone who even looks at you or Rosalie for more than a second" Edward said and chuckled. It was the first time since my death I had heard him laugh, but it wasn't real he wasn't happy and it was my fault. I longed for him to smile his amazing crooked smile or laugh properly.

Before I could say anything else the rest of the class turned up and went into the lab Edward waited before saying "Ladies first" well he hadn't lost his manners. I sat at our desk and rested my head on my hand but facing Edward.

"So, why don't you talk to anyone?" I knew the answer but he doesn't know that I know.

"I have no wish to listen to people go on about completely insignificant things and because I'm too depressed ton really socialize much, other than you" I felt like crying, I wanted to tell him here and now that he doesn't need to grieve that the one he loved is me and that I still love him. But I've decided that once he tells me about me I will tell him who I really am. I just wish that I gain his trust sooner rather than later.

"My turn to ask a question, why do you, Rosalie, Emmett and the two new people look so alike and so different from everyone else, there's even a distinction between the new ones and the rest of you" Oh no, I can't tell him the truth not yet anyway. He's much more observant than anyone else.

"Umm, it isn't my secret to tell really, I would tell you because I trust you more than anyone else i have met but I can't at the present time"

"You trust me more than anyone else?" Edward said surprised

_Shit, _I haven't known him a week and I said that, now he'll be even more suspicious.

"Yeah, again I can't really explain why just yet" I said awkwardly.

"Okay, I won't ask anymore of those two subjects"

"Thanks, I promise to tell you one day though" it was true I really did want him to know.

"So why did you move to Forks? It isn't exactly the most exciting place to live" asked Edward on a much lighter note.

"I moved here because Emmett and I were fed up with New York and wanted to move somewhere quieter, and Rosalie couldn't bear to part with Emmett and came along with us"

"You don't have an accent" it wasn't a question but a statement, and one that I had no explanation for; we weren't expecting anyone to pick up on that. Most teenagers don't really think of extra things like that when told information, but Edward couldn't really be classed in most teenagers. He was so much more than that.

"No I don't" Edward realised it wasn't easy to explain again so didn't press further, I really appreciated it.

"So your parents were okay with that?"

"My parents don't live with me and Emmett, we are over the age of eighteen therefore they let us live for ourselves" the fact they don't live with us anymore was true. Edward seemed alarmed but then he had Esme and she was the most caring person who ever existed.

"That must be horrible for you" he said sympathetically.

"I really don't care, it means I get freedom in what I do, no one to tell us no but I guess it would be nice for it to be possible to be with at least one of them" my thoughts immediately flew to Charlie and Renee I really did miss them.

We were suddenly broke out of our conversation by the teacher who I hadn't noticed enter the room or start talking, and apparently neither had Edward.

"Edward and Isabella, what is it that is more important than the lesson?" neither of us spoke so the teacher carried on, "If I catch you talking again it'll be detention" I rolled my eyes, I could leave the school ground in less time than he could say the word detention, let alone force me to sit and endure it. Unfortunately I couldn't carry on talking to Edward even though I didn't really like the subject. The lesson dragged on so slowly, if I could fall asleep I would have by now. When the bell finally rang looked towards Edward who was just as bored as myself.

"Bye Edward" I said.

"Bye Isabella"

"Call me Bella, please" I said, I needed to see how he would react, I hated the name Isabella.

Edward winced slightly but recovered himself, "Kay, Bye Bella" it seemed for him to find it hard to say Bella, well it would be the same for so I completely understood.

I found Rosalie and Emmett by the gate and Emmett immediately asked what Edward was like I replied saying it went well and inquired after Alice and Jasper.

"Jasper said he needed to get home but wanted to wait and say goodbye to you, as Alice did but it's different for them and we are invited round their house tonight" said Rosalie.

"I look forward to it then" I said happily and I was much happier, it was getting better each day.

We decided to just go straight to Carlisle's house; there was no need to go back to our cottage. Alice was waiting expectantly outside her door for us and as usual beaming happily. She really did brighten a mood. "Rosalie Bella Emmett" she said loudly and ran over to hug us.

"Alice we saw you only quarter of an hour ago" said Rosalie.

"Yes, and Jasper is no fun when he's upset about blood lust and Carlisle's at the hospital still so I have no one to talk to" I rolled my eyes typical Alice.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" I asked.

Alice stood and thought first, "Well I have to show you guy's the rest of the house, I mean I've already seen you guys move in and we need to decide what rooms you have"

"What do you mean you've seen us move in?" I asked curiously.

"Oh I didn't tell you, some vampires have extra powers, I can see the future although it isn't set in stone, and Jasper is an empath"

"So when do we move in?" asked Emmett excitedly, "I'm bored of our house"

"We've lived in it for a week Emmett darling" said Rosalie.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders and watched Alice waiting for an answer. "I don't know, maybe today, maybe tomorrow or maybe in a few months I couldn't tell"

This didn't seem to satisfy Emmett for a discussion so he said he was going to Jasper and went into the house calling his name.

Alice took us inside and led us up the stairs; she stopped outside a door on the top floor, "This is mine and Jasper's room" and walked inside.

The walls were a dark cream colour and had light gold curtains hanging separately over the window. The carpet was soft white and cream colour, against one wall was a large double bed with an elaborately styled black frame with gold and black duvets and pillows. There were a couple of dark brown chairs with a dark brown coffee table. Opposite the bed was a large plasma screen and many recent game consoles, no doubt for Jasper. Alice seemed very proud of it.

**.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/2256363/bedroom4-main_**

**A/N Picture of bedroom more or less**

"Wow Alice, this is amazing" I said and smiled.

"Thanks, I designed it myself, Jasper didn't care what I did and with unlimited money for it I decided to make it classy and simple"

"It's brilliant Alice, really" said Rosalie.

"Well yours can be as good as this when you move in" said Alice.

"If we move in Alice, nothing is definite" I said with emphasis on if, I hope we do move in though.

"You will" said Alice simply, I let the subject drop as Jasper and Emmett entered.

Alice went over to Jasper and hugged him, her arms only reached his waist, it was sweet. She pulled away slightly to smile widely at him, "Are you okay now?"

"Alice I was fine, I just needed to think some things over" reassured Jasper.

"Good, show Emmett guitar hero, he'll love it" said Alice.

Jasper agreed and started to explain to Emmett how to play. Whilst they were busy playing against each other Alice dragged me and Rosalie over to the bed where she sat down with legs crossed and indicated for us to do the same. Alice opened her mouth to speak but then her eyes suddenly glazed over and she was immobile for a moment. When snapped out of it and said, "You're moving into our house tonight". I took her word for it; I mean who was I to bet against a psychic?

"Anyway I was going to ask how come you were out of it at lunch Bella."

I sighed; now I have to explain Edward again better sooner than later. But before I could get a word out of my mouth Rosalie said, "She always is Alice"

"Why though?"

I answered, anyway I wanted Alice to know and Jasper too I knew he could hear. I explained my life with Edward before my death and how he had acted towards me up until today.

"Does he have messy bronze hair and green eyes?" asked Alice.

"Yeah, that's Edward" how did she know?

"Well Bella, everything will turn out alright eventually, I'm sure of it" in her eyes there was something else but I couldn't tell what.

"What do you mean? He thinks I'm dead"

"Not for long and anyway he won't be able to resist you tomorrow"

"Why?" I was getting suspicious now.

"Because I'm going to choose your outfit and do your hair and makeup for school tomorrow"

I groaned I always hated makeovers. I guess this was one tendency of Alice I would have to get used to. The three of us sat and talked for a while until we heard Carlisle's car pull into the driveway and Alice bounded out of the room to talk to him.

**So that's chapter 11, please answer the question I asked at the beginning, if you don't I'll choose the first option. But it'll be up to a vote. And please review :D**

**Sarah**


	12. Angela

**Thanks for the reviews I got, and most people opted for me to update every day or two days, this time I would have written more yesterday and the day before, but we got snow on Monday, which never happens where I live by the way and school was closed so i was with friends most of the day and drinking a hot chocolate and watching movies for the rest of the day and yesterday I was at a friend's house after school and I wasn't allowed on the computer except for ten minutes but here is chapter 12 :D**

**Disclaimer: Don't own twilight or any of the characters**

Chapter 12: Bella POV

Carlisle entered the room shortly after with Alice behind him smiling warmly at Rosalie, Emmett and I. "Welcome to the family"

I couldn't help but smile, I knew we would be happy living as a family. Now all I needed was Edward. Strangely the night went very quickly and I found myself standing in front of my wardrobe pondering over what to wear. I decided just to keep it simple and wear my black jeans, and a bullet for my valentine shirt and a black and white pair of vans. Alice came in and showed mock horror at my choice in clothing.

"Bell, I was going to choose your outfit for you" she complained.

"Sorry Alice, I have decided already, maybe tomorrow"

"Fine" muttered Alice in a put out voice, "I'll do your make-up instead"

I groaned, I hated sitting in a chair doing nothing. "Don't worry I'll be quick"

I started listening to music on my iPod whilst Alice outlined my eyes with black eyeliner and mascara and gave me a clear lip gloss to put on. "I can't really do anything else, not with that outfit"

I smirked; I couldn't see what was wrong with it. But Alice will be Alice, I can't change that. We all decided that no one at school needed to know that Rosalie, Emmett and I had moved in with the Cullen's so we ran as usual to school and Alice and Jasper went in their Porsche. I was rummaging through my shoulder bag to find my phone amongst the many books required for a 6 hour day so I didn't notice the fact that Emmett and Rosalie had left together and Alice and Jasper were off on their own talking quietly to each other at a bench. I didn't want to go talk to either of them it would feel too much like intrusion, hell it felt like I wasn't giving them privacy by watching them from this distance.

I swiftly turned around with no clue to my surroundings and found my face come into contact with an all too familiar chest, Edward's. I instantly stepped back and could feel my cheeks reddening rapidly. Opposed to my embarrassment he looked amused. Well I guess it was humorous to watch my countless bouts of clumsiness.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you were there" I had found a new interest in the ground below my feet and had no wish to look up from it.

"Don't worry; you could say I'm used to people walking into me, or tripping or anything like that"

Well of course he was used to it; I was his girlfriend there was no way to avoid me when I'm clumsy which was usually every hour of the day.

"Well you'll have to get used to me being like that, I'll probably end up tripping over you regardless of whether we are friends or anything" I said and smiled.

"Well I'll just get straight to the reason I'm here talking to you now instead of going to class early, but I was going to ask can you sit with me during lunch?"

Okay now I was confused, Edward seemed to want to avoid me let alone sit with me during lunch.

"Or you could come to my table?" I know everyone else would get on with him when he was his normal self once more.

"You know I said I didn't really like company at the moment and I reckon that you are probably the only person I know who can help me get over the many problems I have with life at the moment"

"Okay, so why me? Why not someone like Jessica?" I said.

"Because Jessica is a shallow, air headed slut"

I thought for a moment and realised that Jessica didn't have any desirable traits, "Well that is true"

"And you aren't, in fact you're very similar to my old...my old girlfriend" it seemed to be so difficult for him to talk about me; I know I would be in exactly the same position if it were me.

"What do you mean old? Did she break up with you?" I knew exactly what happened obviously but Edward didn't know that I knew and it was going to stay that way for quite a while at least.

"I'd rather not talk about and definitely not now, but I'm positive I'll end up telling you eventually anyway. I think I want to tell you too, I just can't bring myself to let the words come out from my mouth" he said and messed up his hair with his right hand, I used to love it when he did that, well I still do now, and I'm sure my heart would be speeding up right now if it could.

"Okay, I understand. So I'll see you at lunch?" now seemed the right time to leave whilst we could end on a high note, for us anyway compared to some conversations we had had.

"Yeah, lunch" he seemed so distant at even thinking of me, I could feel the tears spring to my eyes from seeing him like this. It had better end soon; I don't think I can cope with him like this.

I turned my back to him and walked quickly for humans towards the classroom for my first lesson. Since I was later than usual I decided to cut across the patch of grass blocking me from my destination. The mud squelched under the pressure of my steps and started to stain my converses, I would need to fix that later. I glanced behind me and saw Edward was standing where I had left him and was staring dejectedly into space. It was so difficult to concentrate in class, I now I worried the others but to be honest I would have to be perfectly happy like them for them to not worry about me. And the only way for me to be that happy would be to be with Edward which was unforeseeable, at least not for a very long time, because I still expect that me telling him who I truly am would result in him either refusing to believe me, freaking out and never speaking to me again or and this is the least believable outcome for him to rejoice in the fact that I was alive and for everything to be the way it was before. I was scrolling through the contacts on my phone out of boredom; I had hardly anyway, I should start speaking to Angela once again, she was always very nice, when the bell rang telling me that I had just one more lesson until lunch. The classroom was as usual filled with the buzz of casual chatter, this just made me more depressed, I was never included due to the distinction between humans and anything else, humans just didn't know that vampires and angels even existed we were just different. I went to my table and the back and slouched down in my chair and closed my eyes trying to imagine what it would be like had I not chosen to come back. It was impossible, I had no idea at all and neither did Rosalie or Emmett, but we think it would be better, with no problems. I heard someone slide the chair beside me against the floor it grinded making a painful high pitched noise. I opened my eyes to see who had decided to talk to me.

Angela was perched on the edge of the seat watching my every movement with nervous eyes, it was strange, and although Angela was generally a quiet person I had never seen her like this. When I was new before she happily came and talked to me and we became fast friends. It was as though she was scared? I couldn't tell but to help ease her mind I smiled warmly, I would like to be friends with Angela even if it could only be for a few years.

"Hi" I said quietly but the sound of my voice still shocked her. I had forgotten, every aspect of me was desirable or attractive to humans, even my voice.

"H...Hi, I'm Angela" she said shyly I could barely make out the words.

"Isabella"

"I know, everyone knows who you and all the other new people are"

"I wish they didn't, it would be nice to be able to be accepted instead of acting like an outcast" I said bitterly.

"Edward seems to accept you as someone to be friends with" I very nearly rolled my eyes at that.

"He doesn't I'm just someone who he thinks can help him and that I'm similar to someone he used to know" well it was true, that was all Edward thought of me.

"Bella" I was taken aback, did she say that just to herself or did she know who I really was somehow. I hope it was the first.

"What did you just say?"

"You remind him of Bella, his old girlfriend and my best friend" Angela looked sad as well, just not the extent that Edward did. Angela had at least tried to act like normal. I hadn't considered that anyone else would miss me other than Edward, now I felt bad for two people.

"She died a couple of weeks ago; neither of us have really gotten over it but me more so than Edward, he really loved her"

"Is that why he hated me at first, because I was too similar to Bella?" I asked, of course I knew the answer.

"Yes" she said under her breath.

He lesson dragged on so much, I was desperate to see Edward again and it was so awkward between Angela and I, more so than it was with Edward. And I had thought that wasn't possible.

**So there was chapter 12 and please review, did you like hate it love it? It's all in your best interests to send me reviews cause I can improve depending on what you want XD**

**Sarah**


	13. Jasper

**Sorry I meant to upload this yesterday and I thought I had but I hadn't published the chapter, I can be really stupid sometimes, :D and once again sorry oh and everything below was written yesterday**

**Hey, sorry it's been a few days since my last update :D I'm trying to work on that but I'm so overloaded with work at the moment, and today is my 14****th**** birthday as well as my friend's so I had to get her present, but I'm in a really good mood at the moment despite having the worse cold ever so I'm going to try and write two chapters worth tonight to upload in the next couple of days. Notice I said try so don't hold me against that XD**

**But enough of my rambling, Chapter 13**

**Disclaimer: I asked for the twilight rights for my birthday but I only got my own copy of new moon and eclipse so I just own the first three books.**

Chapter 13: Bella POV

After what seemed to be hours of endless boredom and apprehension I was finally able to pull myself from the desk and say a quick goodbye to Angela and go straight to the cafeteria. I wanted to get there before Edward, so I can show him that I still want to talk to him. To save him the worry I know I would have in his position. But he was already seated where he is usually and was sat with a small amount of food in front of him. As I walked towards him, the others noticed that I was not sitting where I did usually and they all looked confusedly at me. I briefly nodded in Edward's direction small enough only for them to notice and Rosalie muttered under her breath and explained to Alice and Jasper where I was going. Emmett hadn't noticed I was in the room yet.

I sat down in the chair opposite Edward and he looked up at me under his lashes and I could see his eyes water. I wanted so bad to hug him to hold his hand, anything to comfort him. I needed to tell him as soon as possible who I really am. I can't endure this and neither can he that much was obvious.

"I'm sorry" I said quietly but showing through all the pain I felt so he could understand to some extent.

His eyebrows knotted in confusion, "What do you mean? You have nothing to apologise for"

"I do, but I'll explain soon, when the time is right, just not now"

He accepted this, as I had with him and we came to a silent understanding.

Edward then noticed my lack of food and asked for the reason behind it. I wanted to tell him the truth so in a way I would, but I won't lie. I never will to Edward.

"It's part of the reason I'm sorry, but I think that it would be best to wait until both of us are comfortable with explaining everything to each other" he nodded and I decided now would be a good time to lighten the mood. We ended up talking until the bell rang about anything and everything and we carried on walking to biology.

"Angela spoke to me today" I said wondering what his reaction would be.

Surprise flashed across his face for a split second before he said, "I guess I knew she would eventually, for the same reason I have, but I thought it would be longer though"

"She said that you weren't usually like this, but I gathered that already"

"Angela is right, I'm usually much friendlier to everyone, well I never was to Jessica or Lauren but to most other people I was; now they avoid me"

"Well I'm always here for you to tell me anything" I smiled.

"I know, I can tell just from the way that you still talk to me regardless of the outrageous way I first treated you" said Edward and he seemed puzzled by it, as though he was expecting me to never talk to him again.

"Well, I knew and still know that that wasn't really you, and that you didn't hate me, just the way I appeared to you" he nodded in agreement, "And I know that now you regret it, so I'm willing to forgive and forget"

We sat at our biology table in silence for the lesson; neither of us had anything to say or needed to talk. But the silence passing between us was more than words could convey; that we would end up trusting each other beyond belief, and that we would never leave one another. I'm not saying he has fallen in love with me since my death just that I know knew that there was a faint chance of my life, or afterlife getting back on track. I was so happy, just because of the way he now talked to me, the way that he no longer looked at me with hate. And never would again. When the end of the lesson came around I smiled shyly at Edward who was now looking at me with yet another confused expression. I could tell he was debating inside and that it wouldn't end anytime soon, his eyes showed that, but I could only tell because I had seen almost every emotion in them many times for hours on end so I could now tell how he was feeling almost all the time. I stood up and slung my bag over one shoulder.

"I have to get going, the others will be waiting for me. But I'll see you tomorrow at lunch?" I asked.

Edward was a few moments later than it should take for him to answer, he must have been thinking as much as I had over the lesson and not about biology in the slightest. "Yeah, I'll see you then"

I turned around and as I got to the door he was still watching my back, I raised my hand slightly and waved. He smiled back, but again it wasn't his usual crooked smile that I hadn't seen since before my death. I let out a breath of air I hadn't noticed I was holding in, and sighed. Things wouldn't sort themselves out soon. Despite my new need to go faster than human pace, I slowed down considerably as I thought the day through in my mind. But all too soon for my liking I reached Alice's Porsche where everyone was waiting patiently for me. Jasper must have sensed my confusing emotions and the expression on his face clearly showed I was right, I just shook my head the tiniest bit letting him know not to mention anything now or when anyone else was around.

"How come you took so long Bella? Usually you're much quicker" asked Emmett.

"I was caught up, sorry guys, let's just go home now" I said.

Rosalie looked at me worriedly, "I'm fine Rose, and honestly I just have a lot on my mind at the moment"

We were home very soon, Alice grabbed hold of my wrist almost immediately after I stepped out of the car and pulled me up to my new room and said "Bella, we have to sort this out and decorate it"

"Not now Alice, I want to go outside and run for a while" she looked at me as though I was crazy, which I probably was.

"Why, you'll destroy your clothes" she exclaimed

"I thought you didn't like them"

"But they're clothes, you can't just go out and do something that will obviously ruin them, at least wear something that is in bad quality!" she was getting almost hysterical at the mere thought of a piece of clothing being ruined, I rolled my eyes, Alice really was unbelievable sometimes.

"Jasper, can you come up and calm your wife" I called out as though he was in the room since he could probably hear if I whispered it.

Jasper appeared at the door within seconds from the room below and immediately Alice was back to her normal self once more.

"Thanks, I'll see you later Alice I'm going to go running now" I said.

"Can I come with you, I need to hunt anyway" asked Jasper.

"Sure"

When we reached the eaves of the forest Jasper stopped and said, "Do you want me to be out of sight when I hunt? Or do you not mind seeing me kill and suck dry an animal?" he asked calmly as though we were discussing the weather.

"I don't mind, I'll just talk to you whilst you hunt" I said and Jasper nodded and sped off into the blackness before me. I followed suit watching as he stopped and suddenly changed direction immediately. His pace quickened and there was a hunger to the way his feet hit the ground. Before I could have seen the unsuspecting animal Jasper was on the ground wrestling a mountain lion. I know that if I was human and watching this all I would see would be a blur of movement, every colour merging together. The lion suddenly fell limp and Jasper was standing in front of me. He had a spot of blood on the edge of his mouth which he quickly wiped away. But other than that there was no mark he had just drunk an animal's blood, except from the leaves caught in his hair.

"So was there any reason you chose to go hunting now at the same time I was running, or was it just mere coincidence that you needed to hunt at this time?" I asked.

"It wasn't coincidence, I wanted to talk to you about earlier at school, but it was obvious you didn't want to talk about it when we were in the car with the others around, and at home anyone can hear unless you talk very quietly, which is more difficult than you think" I thought as much.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" I had no problem explain to Jasper the problems of my life right now; I could tell that we would get on really well at some point.

"What was the cause of your emotions then? It did my head in, you were feeling just about every emotion imaginable" he said and looked at me inquiringly.

"Okay, I'll go with the simple ones to start with" we had slowed down to a walk which helped me think even clearer, "I was happy because I finally have a chance to get this life similar to my old one, as in back with Edward, sad because I'm the reason he isn't happy, and that's all I want; for him to be happy, I was angry because I can't tell him everything about me now, at least not until I'm completely sure he won't freak out and leave me. I'm jealous of every other human because although I love being like this, as in fast and strong if I hadn't died in the car crash and Edward and I were still alive everything would be perfect with us. Love, well it's pretty obvious, I still love Edward if not more than ever. Does that explain it to you?"

"Yes, now I understand more. Your life really needs to get sorted out huh?" said Jasper and smiled reassuringly at me.

"You can say that again, everything is just so overwhelming, but I think it will work out in the end"

"You can always ask Alice" he suggested.

"I hadn't thought of that" I said in a lighter tone.

**I know that was kind of a crappy way to end the chapter but I figured that if I started another chapter it would work better and wouldn't be me just grabbing any idea possible to make it longer**

**So please review, as a little present for my birthday cause I really want to hear what everyone thinks, and thank you to everyone who has reviewed even if it was just for the first chapter :D**

**Sarah**


	14. Bella confesses, sort of

**You guys are lucky, two chapters in a day, but I got only one review last time. So please please please review :D I have one thing to ask though, can everyone at least reply to say if they want Jacob to appear in this fic at some point, and whether he has a big part or a cameo type thing, cause I have ideas running wild right now and all i need are a few words from people to help me decide since you are the ones who read this**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all characters.**

Chapter 14: Bella POV

After we had got back to the house and I had talked to Jasper I really felt excepted by the Cullen's. And the evening went by very fast and I was running to school wearing my grey led zeppelin t-shirt, a black hoodie, and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and my light beige ugg boots. We arrived at school earlier than we needed to so I sat down on one of the outside benches and got my English book out so I could finish writing the essay that had escaped my mind in everything I was bothered with at the moment. A strand of hair was blown out of the loose ponytail and flew across my face. I pulled it behind my ear and noticed Mike Newton sitting beside me. He was wearing a goofy grin on his face which really did him no favours at all. I saw that over his shoulders and within hearing distance for non humans were Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper leaning against the Porsche and watching with amused expressions, I narrowed my eyes towards them and spoke to Newton.

"What do you want Newton?" I asked in a voice which plainly showed my dislike for him.

"I just wanted to talk to you since you don't seem to know many people here" his smile grew wider making the countless spots covering his chin even more prominent.

"I don't need your company Mike, I have really good friends already and I am currently making more"

"You mean Edward Mason?" he sounded disgusted at the thought of me socialising with Edward.

"Yes I do, you have a problem with that?"

"Of course I have a problem with it, he always take the hottest girls in school from me, first Bella now you"

I was so tempted to punch him just then, and I wouldn't reduce my strength at all, he had no consideration for Edward, it was the most obvious thing in the world how upset he was. And he had just proved he never really liked me, he just wanted my body, and still did. But instead of answering I pushed all of my books into my bag and stormed off into the school. I could hear people following, I expected it to be the others but I really didn't care, I just needed to be alone so before they could catch up with me at human pace I entered the classroom for my first lesson so they wouldn't follow. I went to my seat at the back of the room and leant my head on my hands, and just thought. I needed to tell Edward who I was and soon, and if by any luck he believed me and didn't hold anything against me and we got back together I wouldn't have to worry about anything again.

Angela had brought it upon herself to act as a friend towards me and now sat with me in every lesson, except biology of course. And I appreciated it, and hopefully it wouldn't be long until we would be able to talk for hours about anything and everything, because although Alice, jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were great they seemed to think that the conversations human teenagers have were pointless and I missed being able to talk about guys and films and celebrities or any crazy thing that came to mind, because only a few weeks ago I was like Angela, free to do anything and talk about anything I wanted. Alice I found the most easiest to talk to, she shared with me a love of getting hyper, something I had not been in a while, not since before my death and it was nice to see someone so lively and bubbly. Angela's nervousness around new people, especially when they seemed so different was evident in the way she spoke to me now compared to before. I tried to encourage her by being as friendly as possible, but I couldn't manage to coax her out of being nervous, that and the fact that she misses me as Bella still. I feel horrible saying this but...it's nice to know that there are some people who really liked me as a person for who I was, not just for my looks or popularity, not naming anyone but Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton...oh and Lauren.

Once the bell rang for the end of fourth period I almost jumped out of my seat in a rush to get to lunch. Surprisingly Alice was already standing outside my classroom door when she should be the other side of the school. I lowered my head slightly so only she would hear, "I thought we weren't meant to use super speed in public Alice"

Her reply however was not muted, but as loud as ever, "I only wanted to make sure you didn't ditch us this lunch" I saw Jasper appear over her shoulder but further back in the corridor than I would have liked with the crowd of humans milling between. I looked despairingly at him and somehow he got through quickly and once standing next to Alice let out a huge breath of air he had been holding in to stop the scent of humans so close affecting him. I did notice his eyes were a shade darker, but not by much. Jasper, guessing Alice's actions correctly took her hand and said, "I think Bella wants to be with Edward at lunch, and until and if he does find out what we all are then I think it will be safe for him to sit with the rest of us"

Alice looked put out, "But it's not the same without Bella, I have no one to talk about shopping with"

"There's always Rosalie" I put in.

"No there isn't, she's always too preoccupied with whispering to Emmett" Well that at least was true.

"Alice, you can talk to me all you like at home, and to be honest shopping isn't really a topic I'm interested in...At all"

Alice opened her mouth to respond but Jasper put his hand on the small of her back and guided her away from me so I could find Edward on my own and make up for the previous few minutes lost time with him. When I got to the cafeteria, I immediately walked straight past the food towards Edward who for once wasn't looking as depressed as usual, but still with untouched food. He glanced up at my entrance and continued staring straight into my eyes, usually I would have blushed and turned my head downward **A/N I do that all the time when the guys I like stares at me :D**

I sat down and he spoke, "No food?"

"Nope, why would I have food?"

"Because it's lunch and that's when people eat" he said simply.

"Well you don't seem to follow that either" and I nodded my head at the plate before him; I expected a touché to come from his mouth or for him to pick up the pizza and take a bite, but not such thing happened he just sat still and unmoving.

I couldn't stop myself but it was all too much and I said, "Oh come on Edward, I know you don't usually act like this, you're usually friendly and cheerful and funny and" before I could carry on he spoke in an undertone.

"Isabella, how on earth would you know how I 'usually' am when you have only ever seen me like this if not worse" and he looked pointedly at me, I shut my open mouth and started opening and closing it at a loss of what to say. I probably gave off the impression of a goldfish.

Finally something suitable came to mind, "Same reason as yesterday, just one I can't say yet"

"So when can you tell me the answers for all you strange actions and thoughts?" he wasn't teasing, Edward really meant to know when he would understand.

And for that I had no answer except for, "I would tell you now, well not _now_ when we were alone, but I'm waiting for you to trust me, because if you don't trust me with your answers how will I know you won't desert me when I tell you mine?" it was rhetorical question, there was no answer he could say that would explain the on growing worry in my mind.

"I would wait, until I knew whether what you were saying was really true, if you were lying of course I would leave but if you were fully speaking the truth I wouldn't go without an explanation" ah, exactly what I expected, he couldn't give me a straight no I would never leave you, he had no idea what I might tell him. But with an explanation, that could just be _you're, crazy, I believe you but if you really loved me you would have told me straight away, but instead you lie, I can't be around you anymore_.

That would count as an explanation and with my current state of mind one I'm pretty sure he would say or close to. And being me, I couldn't bring myself to take the risk that might cost me my other half. I know this sounds really cheesy but...I wasn't complete without him. I was a wreck.

"And anyway" I said more to myself than to Edward but he still heard, "I want you to tell me why you're in the state you are without feeling you have to because of me, I know most of it anyway" I don't know why I said the last six words but I needed to at least let him know that I wasn't just a stranger out of the blue.

"Can I give you a lift home?" asked Edward suddenly, I wasn't expecting anything like that. I looked up from the table at him and saw that his features were relaxed, and he showed no sign of a reaction to what I said. I expect it'll all come out later and how I would regret this at some point but I agreed. He nodded and said "Wait for me by my car then" and rose from his seat without another word. I sat there staring into space trying to figure out all the confusing actions going on around me.

**Not many words I know, but I was in my room watching the Merlin episodes, it can get addicting, So for the last time today please review and answer the question above**

**Sarah**


	15. The beginning of the reveal

**I know you are probably tired me constantly apologising at the beginning of each chapter about the fact it took longer to update. And I didn't mean it to be about a week since the last one, but I have to say that I'm being forced to go away for 5 days to my nans and there isn't internet ther. But we are taking the laptop so I can write loads hopefully on word and make up for the time when I haven't been able to post another chapter :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

Chapter 15: Bella POV

Once Alice had realised Edward had left she came over to me and started talking to no end and to be honest I had no idea what words she had spoken. I was too distracted by other issues. I walked slowly to biology, unaware of the people or objects near me. I must have been looking different than usual, probably even more distant if that was possible because I could hear the whispers of other students. But I didn't care; and I never would. The biology classroom was surprisingly empty, I expected Edward to be there, but he wasn't so I sat at our table on my own and started to revise anything that came to mind. Eventually students started to slowly fill up the seats in the room, every time I heard someone's entrance I would look up; hoping to see Edward, but he never came. The class started with the same routine, Mr Banner lecturing on the current subject, which I think was equations for chemicals and metals, and then giving us the instructions for an experiment he left us to our own devices to complete. The lesson went unusually fast despite me not being able to take my mind off meeting with Edward again afterwards.

The bell finally rang and I speedily left the classroom with my belongings. I pulled my phone from my pocket and started to text Rosalie to let her know I would be later home and wouldn't be meeting with them after school, I knew had I not told them myself they would end up worrying for no reason. As I opened the door to the car park, a cold but refreshing wind blew on my face and ruffled my already untidy hair. I quickly scanned the car park for the bronze haired god and I saw him. Edward was leaning casually against the bonnet of his Volvo with his arms folded across his muscular chest. Unfortunately he had a stern expression on his face, and from my distance even for me he looked somewhat angry, which definitely wasn't good. But with any luck he could just be concentrating on something hard.

As I walked towards him he had his emerald eyes fixed on me and unluckily my natural clumsiness came through to the surface. I managed to trip on the smallest rise in the paving slabs and was sprawled with my face on the ground my books spilled out everywhere. I got up so I was sitting and began to gather my belongings together and stuff them in my bag. As I reached for my maths book, Edward was kneeling in front of me holding it out to me.

"Thank you" I said quietly.

He smiled, "No problem, I've been used to clumsiness for a while now"

No problems working out where that was from. "I get it from my Mum, she's a klutz, but nowhere near how much I am" which was true, at least it was last time I saw Renée.

Edward stood up and held out his hand, I took it and he pulled me to a standing position and let go of my hand quickly. He walked over to his car and opened the passenger door for me, ever the gentleman. I thanked him and slid into the black leather seat. Edward was then sitting in the drivers seat quickly afterwards and he reached for the radio.

"You don't mind?" he asked. I shook my head and the music of a soft rock band filled the car. I decided to ask the question that had been burning my mind for the past hour as Edward pulled out of his space and form the school.

"So where were you in biology?" I didn't look at him as I spoke, instead straight out of the window into the dark green forest.

"I was thinking, about now. Obviously I was going to drop you home, but I was toying with the idea of telling you what happened to me just before you came to Forks, and I needed to be alone to decide"

"Where did you go?"

"I just walked sat in here listening to music, it helps me so much"

"I could say exactly the same, so what was your decision?" I said it in a kind tone, so he knew I wasn't pressing him for a certain answer, or any answer at all in fact.

"I decided after much thought, not just today that it would be best to confess, I don't know what it is but you're like a presence that has always been in my life, and it keeps me up at night more than usual trying to work out how your familiar" he paused to think how to word the rest of what he was trying to say, "And I thought well now would be a better time than any to explain to you, as long as you don't need to be anywhere because I have a feeling that we'll be talking for a while"

"I have any amount of time" which was true, I didn't need to sleep or eat and I could spend eternity with Edward literally.

"Okay, good, it's a long story" we sat in silence listening to the music until Edward changed into classical which suited the mood much more. The radio were playing Debussy pieces and as Clair de Lune started to play I spoke, "I love this song"

Edward quickly glanced at me surprised, "You like classical?"

"Yes, I love it, it's so calming"

Edward then pulled up on the side of the road and looked at me. I was confused so I said, "Are we stopping here just because it's far enough from interruptions or because you meant to stop here?"

"Just because I can't bear to not tell you for any longer amount of time" he hesitated.

"Okay, well here goes" he took a deep breath in and began to explain. I couldn't see why he was so nervous, at least Edward wasn't telling me that he was a mythical creature back from the dead and used to be my mate. He was so much better off than me.

**Sorry it was so much shorter than usual, but I ran out of ideas since I wanted them to talk properly in the next chapter. So please review and I will post more on Monday or Sunday :D**

**Sarah**


	16. They finally talk :D

**This is just edited, I didn't realise I had put the chapter twice **

**Here's the chapter I know a lot of people have wanted since they first read this fan fic...the big reveal :D So thank you for all the reviews I've gotten so far, it really means a lot to me.**

**But I have to thank bkmode for being my beta XD she's made loads of corrections in this chapter and I really appreciate it; grammar isn't one of my strongest points :D**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot :D**

Chapter 16: Edward POV

Should I being doing this? Does Isabella really need to know? Well I have known the answer to that since I started to talk to her. But is now, is today the right time for me to explain? Or should I wait until we know each other better? Yet, I feel as if I know everything about her personality, her likes and dislikes. But there's something unexplainable about her, I suppose that is what she's meaning to tell me.

"Before you came to Forks, I was in love with someone, well to be honest I still am and always will love her" I stopped again, I really didn't know how to explain this to the girl in front of me.

"But?" she pressed lightly, but not so I felt pressured, and anyway, I wanted to tell her. But there was something behind her voice, like she already knew and was waiting for me to explain myself.

"She was killed in a car accident, and I've been unable to act like myself since, and I won't be back to normal ever. I know it sounds cheesy; but she was my other half. I'm surprised I've lived even like this for the past three weeks. I worry my mother Esme, which is inexcusable but I can't stop being like this, the only thing that would change it or prevent my life from getting worse is Bella coming back, but that's impossible" something flickered across Isabella's face but she masked it quickly.

"Then why do you hate me?" her eyes pleaded for an answer, which I gave, my actions to her had not been acceptable and hopefully she would forgive them.

"Well, the name of the person I loved was Isabella but she hated it so we called her Bella, she was so similar to you but I mean no offense here but more beautiful to me because it was her, but you are beautiful but you can't mean anything unless you were Bella. You arrived just three days after her death, and I felt like you were some sort of devil, intent on reminding me of my loss in the most cruel of ways. You still remind me of her too much, I would like to be able to avoid thinking about Bella, but always remembering her in perfect detail just not thinking of her, but every time I see you, hear you speak, you make her come to mind and it's making me more depressed. It hurts to know that she'll never come back, to never see her smile again or blush or to hear her laugh or even to hold her small hand in mine, or smell her hair. But it's all gone, never to come back, and you always remind me of that," I looked down, not able to see the expression of the person in front of me, I didn't want to.

"Edward?" Isabella asked softly, in exactly the same voice as Bella used to use when she was concerned.

I looked up to meet her deep brown eyes. "I think what I tell you might give you comfort, but then you might come to the conclusion that I'm a lying lunatic, which I would accept but it would do me a lot of harm as well."

Now I was really confused, nothing could help ease the loss of Bella, I told Isabella this so she spoke again.

"If I tell you about me, do you promise to stay and hear it all out? Only then will you make a decision?" I nodded; that was fair.

"Okay, what name do you know me by?" she was nervous, that was obvious.

"Umm, what would you do if that wasn't the truth?"

"I would want to know why and what the truth was"

"Okay, my name isn't Isabella McCarty, and I haven't just arrived at Forks"

"What is your name then?" I was burning with curiosity now.

"You promise to wait and hear it all out?" I nodded just wanting an answer.

"Isabella Swan"

I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath and I let it out which seemed to worry the girl in front of me. How was this fair? Now her full name was the same as Bella's. What coincidence is that? And why would she hide it? Or even how would she know to change it? Were her and Emmett even related? My mind was full with questions but instead of asking one, my reaction was that which anyone would. Of disbelief.

"What?" I was beyond confusion now, where had this come from?

"My surname isn't McCarty, it's Swan and I've lived in Forks for the previous two years" This couldn't be true, those facts only accounted for my Bella. Who's gone and won't come back.

"That can't be true, Isabella Swan is dead, only I survived in the accident, and you look different from Bella Swan" I had to deny this, it was impossible to be the truth.

"You said you'd stay open minded"

"Well yeah, but you haven't fully explained anything, when you do I can have more rational thinking" I waited and looked her in the eyes; willing her to go on.

Isabella closed her eyes before speaking again, "Okay, I am Bella, the one who died in the car crash about a mile down the road from here, the one who was in love with you and vice versa. My dad was Charlie Swan and my mother Renee. The one you sat next to in Biology and the one who Esme thought of as a daughter" she opened her eyes to see my reaction. But I don't know what she saw through her doe brown eyes. I was numb. Only vaguely aware of what was going on around me. She had just told me she was the person I loved who I had watched die. I had seen Bella close her eyes a final time and seen her chest lower as she exhaled her last breath. Felt the faint, weak pulse disappear from her wrist. Kissed her cold forehead and seen no flicker of life on her beautiful face, no reaction to my hands shaking her body, desperate to get life out of her. Held her deathly pale hand as the paramedics carried her on a stretcher to the ambulance, despite them admitting there was no chance, not the faintest hope that she would breathe again. I had pressed my mouth to her soft lips and blown air into her lungs, just trying to make her heart beat again. It was my fault, she had given her heart to me and mine to her and I let it end. I drove the car that killed her. I decided to take her out that night. It was my fault. And I knew that she had died. I had lived with that fact for the past three weeks; endured the indescribable torture for not just waking moments. Even in my sleep I was constantly reminded of what I'd lost. I was afraid to sleep, afraid to leave my mind to its own devices, afraid it would remember the being I couldn't forget. And then now, this girl in front of me tells me that she is Bella that she was the one that I loved; even though I saw her die. She really could be a devil. No human could say such a thing.

"How could you expect me to believe such a thing?" I said coldly, it wasn't a question, but a statement of truth.

She sighed letting her arms fall limp from her lap. "Please just hear me out, hear everything I have to say. At least do that for me"

"Why? You told me such a thing that you know would destroy the final tie to me and sanity left. You must have asked around, found out information about Bella and came to tell me, for no reason other than just to be malicious. I would have never spoken to you. I would have gotten on with my terrible life alone. I want that. But you took it upon yourself to ruin my already messed up life. I shouldn't have to hear you utter a single word further from now on..." I meant every word and spoke it in such an ice cold voice that she would understand.

"Edward, listen to me" she raised her voice, almost shouting, but I refused to look at her. Instead I twisted the keys in the ignition and began to drive as fast as possible. If I could just reach the outskirts of Forks I could force her to leave the car, to never listen to her again.

"Edward, I have never spoken a lie to you, ever. Even in my first life I have never lied to you. But it appears you have. Even though you swore to me when we were sitting on that rock on first beach in La Push, the day I refused to do anything for my 17th birthday, you swore that you would always listen, that you wouldn't let your temper overrule anything else when I needed to tell you something. And you promised that you believe anything I said no matter how absurd it sounded to you...because you always trust that who you love" she said the last part so quiet that I had to strain to hear it.

I stopped the car but left my hands on the steering wheel and my foot on the accelerator; ready to speed off if needed. But what she had just said rang truth. Every word I had spoken to Bella, we were completely alone. It was raining so other people stayed inside, but Bella stubbornly refused to let me take her into the car, at any chance to avoid me taking her somewhere for celebration of her birthday. I was sheltered by an overhanging but she wasn't so the rain rolled down her cheeks as though she was crying. It was one of my most treasured memories, and only we could know of it.

I looked at the person on the seat beside me and said, "Alright, if I give you the benefit of the doubt will you please say how it is possible for the dead to return because I saw Bella Swan lying lifeless in her coffin. Knowing she had passed away, her heart never to beat again" and waited expectantly for a suitable answer.

"Okay, I'm not human and my heart doesn't beat, if you held your thumb on my wrist, you wouldn't feel a pulse, neither on Rosalie or Emmett, and I can't really talk about Alice or Jasper, they're different from either of us. I expect what I tell you next will seem to be further out than anything else I've said to you" she paused trying to think how to word what she needed to say best, "I awoke from death and Rosalie and Emmett were there to explain I was dead, but I already knew that. And they gave me a choice, to go on, or to come back, as an angel. So I chose to come back with them, just so I could be with you again. And well they are the only reason I didn't run to you the first time I saw you in the cafeteria after I died to tell you I was here, on earth. But Rose and Emmett told me to wait, until I knew you wouldn't leave me, but I thought today was the right time. I guess I was wrong about that" she said and looked straight ahead out of the window.

Although my first thought would be that she couldn't be speaking the truth I was against my better judgement, I believed her but was still as confused as ever. She ought to know what I was thinking right now though.

"I believe you" I said quietly I wasn't sure she heard me. Her head snapped towards me and her eyes were filled with wonder, I guess she was positive I wouldn't think she was telling the truth, but I had always kept what had happened between me and Bella quiet, not trying to keep anything a secret but I wanted it to be mainly between the two of us, so only her and I would know about her birthday or anything like that.

"I'm still very much in the dark though" which was true, I knew practically nothing.

She bit her lip before speaking, out of hesitation I assume, "Do you really want to know more? I'm just scared you'll find something too much and will try to leave again"

"Bella?" I said quietly, still unsure of how to address her, it felt so unusual calling the person beside me Bella, as though she was the same as before, that would definitely take a lot of getting used to.

"Hmm?"

"I believe you're Bella, but I can't just act as if nothing had happened, but it is impossible for me to leave you, however freaked out I get, and I need to know about it sometime; I'll always be with you no matter how inhuman you are"

She sighed out, obviously relieved and decided to trust me more, "Okay, well you know I'm not human, so I different living conditions. I don't need to eat or drink, all my senses are magnified by about ten times, we're a lot faster and stronger than humans. Err, we appear to be more attractive than humans, we don't sleep or age. So I'll be like this for eternity and I can't leave earth...ever and there is no way to kill me or destroy me since I'm already dead. It's almost the same for Alice and Jasper, but I'd have to check with them if it was alright to tell you" I nodded, unable to speak out loud.

My mind was in shock, her life sounded brilliant, well apart from the being dead part. But Bella was just a foot away from me. Bella, when for the past three weeks I had been under the impression she had been dead. That I would never be able to hold her body against me and kiss her hair lightly, but she was here and I had spoken words of hate to her. I had caused her pain, though not physically; I was disgraced with my actions. All the while it had been Bella; if only she had spoken up...but given that had she not waited till now I would have probably gone crazy and given her no chance at all to explain since it was very close to that today.

"So..." said Bella at a loss of what to say.

**I hope you liked that chapter; I certainly had fun writing it. And by the way, I have decided to enter Jacob in this somehow at some point because I had more people wanting him in it than out. But he won't be trying to steal Bella from Edward or anything just viewing from afar :D and being Bella's friend. And Esme enters in the story properly next chapter.**

**Please Review**

**Sarah**


	17. Esmes worry

**Sorry, it took longer than expected to finish but the next chapter is here now, I didn't write such a long one because there wasn't really much to write, I just wanted to bring Esme into the story a little.**

**And again a huge thank you to bkmode for finding all the small mistakes I would have otherwise overlooked**

**Disclaimer: Not Stephanie Meyer, don't own twilight, don't own jasper ): ect.**

Chapter 17: Edward POV

I took in her appearance again; the first time since she died I really didn't pay much notice. She had her feet propped up against the plastic in front of her and she was wearing light beige boots, dark blue jeans and a black hoodie, her long dark chocolate hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she had framed her mesmerizing deep brown eyes with a light coat of mascara. She has never needed much makeup. She was naturally beautiful in ways beyond just appearances. I sighed; why had everything gone so wrong from perfect in a matter of an hour, because if the accident hadn't happened Bella and I would be together, and stronger than ever. But as much as I wished it, it wouldn't work as easily anymore.

But, if I looked on the brighter side of the situation, at least Bella was here, not alive...but her presence still graced the earth. That was something at least. She turned her head to me seeking reassurance, "So you swear you won't leave?" my heart dropped a little; Bella didn't trust me as much anymore.

"No, I won't" I said quietly...but then another question came to mind and I couldn't get rid of it, "So would you rather be human, or like this" I said and gestured towards her.

"Human, it's so annoying to have everyone avoid just because you look different or seem intimidating, but then I guess I have always hated attention so it's okay, but I'd definitely rather be human because then you and I would be together with no problems in the slightest"

"We do have quite a big problem with us now" I agreed.

"What would you say the biggest one was? I want to see if we are currently in the same frame of mind" she asked curiously.

"I'd say the main problem about us is that you're an angel and I'm just a plain, boring, useless human"

She thought for a moment before saying, "Well that definitely does count as part of it, but the biggest in my opinion is the fact that you'll get old and I'll never age and when you do pass away I won't be able to follow, and you might not get given the same choice as me"

I was way off, I hadn't even thought of anything like that, and that was a much more depressing thought, but it was unavoidable, "What if I died? Like in say a week or any time"

"I wouldn't want to risk it, you might not get the chance to come back here, I don't know how any of this works really...and I can't take the chance of almost losing you again" she closed her eyes and seemed deep in thought. Well I couldn't say anything to that; if I were in her position I would think the same.

"Well, there is a possibility we could stay together for eternity, but I don't know much about it yet I'd have to talk to people first, and even then it would and should be only a fallback possibility" she didn't seem to be talking to me, just saying her thoughts aloud.

Bella opened her eyes and said "Edward as much as I like being in your company, could you take me home? I need to talk to the others alone. If you don't want to drive me I can just run, it would only take 5 minutes from here"

"No I can drive, just point me in the right directions" we were in silence whilst I was driving, both of us had an overwhelming amount to think about, but my brain didn't seem to work the way I wanted, I wanted to think about how me and Bella stood at the moment, but I couldn't bring myself to think of that rather than what would happen next. Bella told me to stop the car as she we reached the outskirts of Forks, "You don't want me to drive you to your house?"

"No, I don't know how the others would take it, and I'd want to check with everyone else first" she smiled at me, "anyway Esme ought to come with you the first time, I'd like her to meet someone"

"So I can tell Esme you're here?" it was her secret after all.

"Not yet, but soon, I think we should figure out how we are ourselves before getting other people who aren't already in this involved" I nodded.

She pushed open the car door and bent down so she could still see me, "I'll see you tomorrow at school; we can talk more then,"

"Bye" I said and waved before driving off, in the mirror I saw Bella standing watching and then suddenly disappear. She ran too fast for humans to see then. I drove through Forks faster than the speed limit as usual and arrived home in a couple of minutes. Esme had chosen to build a house in the forest but near enough to the actual town to be amongst others. She had designed a very modern style which has always confused me, she had always preferred vintage things, but still it worked well for us.

I opened the front door and saw she was working in the kitchen cooking what I assumed to be our dinner. She looked up at my entrance and only then did I realize that Esme was in a bad a state as me. My weeks of refusing to talk, to only eat what I had to survive on, to stay constantly in my room with the door shut, no longer living really had caused Esme so much worry and distress. She had purple shadows underneath her eyes proving she hadn't slept in ages or very little, she hadn't taken any pride in appearance, wearing a pair of jeans and an old hoodie, with her hair pulled back messily, before she would have worn clothes that complimented her, taken at least ten minutes on her hair, spent a while with makeup so it looked really natural but enhance her already pretty features. She no longer had fun whilst cooking or doing housework, Esme used to love doing that. And it was my fault; all this was caused by worry over me. And I needed to change that, now.

I smiled warmly at her causing Esme to almost run to me and engulf me in a hug. She stepped back and pressed her hand against my cheek. "You're cold Edward, I'll make you some hot chocolate" and she flitted back into the kitchen obviously not expecting me to speak. I followed through and peered into the contents of the pot, which was filling the entire lower floor with the smell of pasta. I sat down at the table and picked up today's newspaper. After realizing there was nothing in it to interest me I watched Esme work. She was somewhat content at the moment, but still not herself.

"Has anything happened recently that would interest me?" I asked, not just out of a way to start a conversation but because I really wanted to know the answer. Esme suddenly stood perfectly still, shocked that I had spoken a single word other than thank you. She turned around and said warily,

"Edward?"

"Yes Esme?"

She walked round the black surfaced island to just stand and watch me as though if she turned away I would disappear. After a minute she asked "How come you were so much later home today from school?" I could tell she had forgotten about my first question but that didn't matter.

"I was in the library, doing homework" yes that was a reasonable excuse, of course given my own way Esme would have known about Bella the moment I came through the door, but I had to keep my mouth shut on that one for now at least.

"You couldn't do it here? We basically have our own library already" I knew Esme didn't mind, she just wanted to keep a conversation going with me before I shut down again.

I remembered that for history I had to work with a partner to do a project on ancient civilizations so used that for an answer, "For history we have to work with someone else and I didn't know how you would feel if I just invited someone around"

"Oh, who are you working with?" I racked my memory back to first period this morning, since everything about Bella had caused nearly everything to evaporate for my mind.

"Jessica Stanley" I scowled, I really had begun to hate that girl.

"Oh, well she seemed nice enough when I met her last year."

"She's very different at school."

We fell silent for a few minutes, with Esme constantly glancing back at me. I was getting a little annoyed by it so decided to break the quietness of the house.

"Do you have anything planned over the weekend?" I asked not wanting any form of conversation to end.

"What?" she said I had obviously brought her out of a trance so she didn't hear me, "Yes that's nice dear."

I couldn't stop the corner of my mouth twitching upwards just a bit, I was just so happy despite the fact that nothing was perfect yet. But Bella, my Bella was alive. I didn't care that she was a mythical creature as long as she's here I wouldn't care if she had one eye and three feet, although she is clumsy enough to be like she did.

"You're smiling" Esme said warmly, but surprised. This was to be expected I hadn't smiled in what felt like forever.

"I'm happy-ish" I answered truthfully.

"Well I'm glad you're content for now, I missed you Edward"

"But I've always been here."

Esme sighed, "Physically yes, but you've never spoken, never done anything except lie in your room on the bed alone and gone to school and done your homework. But you weren't and still not _Edward_ I don't want to remind you of her but without Bella it's as though you aren't a person, not with a mind or emotions or opinions. You're just there"

I turned my head reluctantly away, she was right and I knew it. I certainly couldn't deny anything she said. But it made me sad, to think that I had affected others too. But Esme would have been upset with Bella's death anyway. No matter what I was like.

**Please review with your opinions on that chapter :D and I will soon be starting a new fic about Sam and Emily hopefully, I'll say on here when I've posted the first chapter, but I will still be writing just as much on here, this is and will be my main fic :D**

**Sarah**


	18. Bella

**Sorry it's been a lot longer for me to update this time, and it's quite short, at least it feels like that, but I've been so busy lately and i will be for a while, so expect updates less regularly but i will as often as I can. Again I want to thank bkmode for helping me out with grammar and how i word stuff, she's noticed a lot more than i ever would have**

**Disclaimer: not Stephanie Meyer ect**

Chapter 18: Bella POV

I wasn't paying attention as I ran back to the house, I was only barely aware of the trees I was darting through, or the wind flying through my already messed hair. But I didn't care about anything right now, except for the fact that I didn't have any secrets kept from Edward anymore. Well apart from Alice, Jasper and Carlisle being vampires...but that wasn't my secret so...

I entered the house as quietly as possible, but with extra hearing that was impossible. Before I knew anything, my body was slammed into by Alice. Her flowery scent overpowered me for a moment before I started to attempt to pry myself from her strong grip. I finally freed myself and saw that Alice had a wide grin across her face and that her eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"I knew it would work out!" she said loudly.

"Alice?" I hadn't any idea what she was going on about.

"I saw it in a vision...earlier today but I couldn't get to you because _someone_" she threw a dark look at Jasper "Kept me from being within hearing distance until now"

"But Alice, the future isn't definite. You said so yourself; how do you know that what you saw actually came true?"

"I know that you told Edward and he was fine about it after the one time he freaked out because you haven't stopped smiling since you came through the door. I haven't once seen you smile like that ever...and Jasper says you're really happy and only Edward can do that for you"

I hadn't realized I was smiling, because although nothing was perfect- hell, it was nowhere near perfect - I was finally happy to some extent. Alice was right; only Edward could do that. She must have taken my silent thought as a confirmation and hugged me again. I rolled my eyes and stepped back.

"Alice, it hasn't worked out...not really. He's still human and I'm a mythical creature that's going to live for eternity. Of course it hasn't worked out"

"Bella, you have to take this one step at a time; he knows who you are and that you aren't human. The next step is to get back together and then, only then will we worry about anything like that..." She fixed me with a stern gaze and I nodded.

She clapped her hands together in excitement and said, "Rosalie will you help me get Bella to look amazing for tomorrow?"

My head turned towards Rosalie and gave her a pleading look but she just smiled and said "Of course Alice...I would like nothing more right now"

"But we still have about 15 hours till school, you don't need that long" I said hopelessly.

"No, we will later, I didn't mean _now_ Bella" I sighed, there was no way I would get out of this. Unless...

My eyes caught Jasper and I motioned with a slight nod of my head for him to go upstairs with me, I then did the same to Emmett. I sped upstairs with them on my tail and we they barred the door for me against Alice's attempts at entry. I didn't bother any longer with secrecy from Alice; I had made my decision and she had probably already seen a vision of it.

I started to explain to Emmett and Jasper whilst in the process of walking into my wardrobe, "I'm going to speak to Edward, I have a lot to sort out with him" I called out.

"Bella are you sure?" asked Emmett in his deep but caring voice.

"Yep" I held out my loose light grey top with elbow length sleeves and my tight fitting short sleeved dark purple top to decide which one, I ended up deciding on the latter.

"But he must need some time to think...I mean he's just been told that the one person he loves isn't dead and is back from the dead" he replied.

That made me think but I shook my head to myself, "No Emmett I have to go, anyway he has been able to think a little" I replied, I then grabbed some light grey skinny's to wear. A pair of dark purple heels caught my eye and I grabbed them with a free hand and took the small makeup bag from the table back in the main part of my room. I looked at Emmett and Jasper waiting for them to say anything else.

"Bella, I really don't think this is a good idea" said Jasper, his eyes were almost begging me to stay.

"Why not Jasper? Why shouldn't I sort everything out as soon as possible?"

He now spoke really quietly and I had t strain to hear even with multiplied senses, "Bella, you can't rush this, if you do it is much more likely to go wrong. If it goes wrong you won't ever be happy and no one in this house wants you to have that. So please, listen to us for once. We can stop Alice and Rosalie from giving you a makeover if that's all you want to leave this house for" I heard Alice huff in the hall, "But if you actually want to risk your relationship with Edward then we will stop you at least until tomorrow. Be patient and give him some time" he said.

I looked between the two faces of the people in front of me and dropped everything I was holding and nodded. Emmett walked to me in two strides and engulfed me into one of his bear hugs, when I was finally free Jasper was waiting and pulled me into a much more comfortable hug. I was glad; I needed some comfort.

Alice had gained entrance and was holding straighteners and curling iron in her hand and a makeup bag in the other. Jasper took her waist and pulled her from the room, "Thank you" I called out.

That left me and Emmett in the room together, "You won't run off if I leave will you?" he asked cautiously.

I chuckled, "No, I promise I won't Emmett" and smiled at him reassuringly.

"Good, I want to go see Rosie...alone" he said and left the room.

I looked absentmindedly around the room, trying to think of something to occupy the night with. I decided on going to speak to Carlisle; he was just as lonely as I was. His office was empty when I reached it so I started to look at the numerous titles of books he had. In here they were all medical, not something I was really interested in. Carlisle came in as I was looking at the paintings he had hung up.

"Bella is there something I can help you with?" he asked curiously.

"No I just needed some company and I didn't think that you would be busy"

"Oh well sit down if you want" Carlisle gestured towards the leather sofa against the wall.

"What are these paintings of?" I asked.

Carlisle walked over to me and looked at them in silent thought for a moment, "My past; I wanted to show other vampires about what it was like"

I saw one of Carlisle between three other vampires on a balcony, it looked old so I asked about that.

"That is me with Marcus, Caius and Aro. They lead the Volturi which are basically our government in effect, they persecute you if you break the rules...which is simply to keep our existence a secret"

"Are there more of them?"

"Yes, the Volturi is made up of lots of vampires, usually with a special gift like Alice's and Jasper's. If you break the rules you die is what they think. I stayed with them for around a decade once"

He then explained the rest of his history up until where I met him; this took up quite a few hours and I had only one until school started so I wore the clothing I had picked up earlier and got ready. Alice seemed to approve of my outfit for once and said, "Well maybe you don't need to always rely on me"

We all drove to school early and waited around the car chatting just as any teenagers would. As soon as Edward's car entered the parking lot and he stepped out of his car our eyes connected and I motioned for him to come over to me. Edward stopped when he was around a foot before me and I looked straight into the emerald green orbs he had for eyes and stood there speechless. I had known what I was going to say but it was now eradicated from my memory. Standing there at a loss of anything to say Alice whispered to me so quietly and quickly so that Edward wouldn't hear or notice, "Introduce the rest of us"

I flashed her a small relieved smile and went on to say, "Edward this is Alice", I motioned towards her and she smiled happily and waved her hand, "Jasper" he nodded his head in obvious discomfort at being so close to Edward, he would have to get used to it eventually, "Rosalie and Emmett" they said a quiet hello and went back to talking to each other quietly, probably about stuff I was glad not to hear.

Until the bell rang we all stood around the car in silence, it wasn't awkward, but comfortable. Had I wanted to say anything to break it I could've easily launched us into a conversation. But I wanted to take advantage of the fact that I had been waiting for something like this to happen since I breathed my final breath as a human.

**So theres chapter 18, hope it was alright**

**Please review **

**Sarah**


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